MORE THYROETRY- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

It is almost the New Year

Thanks so much for having me here

On your computer each week with my blog

About the thyroid…a snippet, a prologue

To the book I am writing for 2012

Coming soon to your E-book shelf

I hope you will like what you read

From the Wild and Crazy Thyroid Lady

Here is a sneak peek at my book intro - Part 1...Look for Part 2 next week

Intro

It is estimated that 50 million Americans suffer from an autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, Crohn’s, lupus, etc., (aarda.org, 2011). Fifty million is roughly equivalent to the combined populations of California and Texas! Nearly 12 million Americans have a thyroid disease, Hashimoto, Graves, hypercalcemia, cancer, etc., (Harvard, 2011). I have both a thyroid and autoimmune disease. This is my journey from sanity to psychosis and now at comfortably crazy.

We moved into an upper-middle class neighborhood, filled with stay-at-home moms, green lawns, mischievous children and white-collar dads in their loosened ties. I was never really the kind of person to put on airs, but in this neighborhood, I tried to be a little more reserved. Upgrading from an apartment, to a tiny starter home, to our new place became essential. We had to keep moving into bigger dwellings because my son’s toys were taking over, his stuffed animals alone could populate the jungles of Africa. As we continued to expand, our living space wasn’t the only thing getting bigger: my physical and mental problems were as well.

As with most who suffer from thyroid autoimmune diseases, it can take an average of ten years with various ailments before finally achieving the correct diagnosis. This is because these kinds of diseases bring about many mental and physical conditions, finding it difficult to diagnose. It was during this time of figuring out what was wrong with me that I evolved into a Looney Tunes character, but kept everything behind closed doors of course. My neighbors had no idea. It was like “sucking in my gut” so to speak to the outside world, then letting it all hang out to my husband and son, Lucky them!

So there I was in my big-girl house with my big-girl mortgage trying to appear like I just another suburbanite. I spent time flowering, manicuring, hedging, trimming and watering; yard work is truly a full-time job, especially if perfection is the goal. Other pretentious residential activities included, tossing the ball with the neighborhood kiddos (including the brats) at the appropriate time of day: one half-hour before dinner or an hour after dinner. Waving, smiling those pearly whites to folks I most certainly could not pick out of a criminal line-up if my life depended on it.

“Oh, that’s one of my neighbors…really, are you sure officer?”


***

It was a gorgeous day in the neighborhood, opulent sunshine with the perfect amount of wind. I had all the windows open so I could feel the warm breeze coming into my house, an absolute idyllic Spring Cleaning day. I had achieved perfection on the outside of my home, it was time to clean the inside. The front door lay open to let the warm rays in, though the screen door remained closed to keep the bugs out. While diligently dusting the furniture, I heard his little voice say:


....TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK

DON'T FORGET JANUARY IS THYROID DISEASE AWARENESS MONTH, PLEASE FILL OUT THE SURVEY, CLICK ON ONE OF THE THE LINKS IN THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OF THIS PAGE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE YA

FROM THE CRAZY THYROID LADY!

DISEASES OFFER A SPEC-TACULAR VIEW!

This week’s blog is dedicated to my Father who passed away just five short months ago of cancer. I love and miss you Daddy!

My Father, a former military man, had a wife and two daughters. He did not want any of his girls to be sick, hurt or in pain-EVER! Scrapped knees, infections and menstrual maladies all had to be suffered in silence. Not because Dad was mean, he believed announcing an illness was a sign of weakness...well, at least that is what he told us.

In my late thirties, when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune thyroid disease, my Father would scoff at me for complaining about things like fatigue, or joint pain. This was after he would call me to ask, “Hey, how are you doing?”…..but not wanting to hear (or deal with) the truth, he would then say: “You feel GREAT, stop saying you are tired.”

It wasn’t like I was a complainer; he just NEVER wanted to hear me say I was anything other than fantastic.

Last year, when my Dad was sickened with cancer, around Christmas time he said to me, “I realize now what it means to have a chronic illness, baby girl, and I apologize for ever down-playing what you have been going through over the past few years.”

This meant the world to me because it was never attention I was seeking, it was just understanding.

He went onto say, “But you know, we are blessed to have the opportunity to view the world with a different “set of glasses” than the pair we had on before.”
Some would say, “Blessed” doesn’t seem like the word most fitting, but oh… I knew exactly what he meant.

The best way I can describe it…it is like being fitted with a special pair of glasses, not the 3-D variety, where everything is distorted, not bifocals where everything is bigger, not UV where things are blocked out, and definitely not rose-colored. They are just real, authentic glasses, which help you see what is important.

With the new pair, we identify with what “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff “truly means-it’s not just a catchy book title to us. We feel this mantra deeply within our soul, because, truth is, we can’t sweat it. We don’t have the strength, the energy, or disposition, and on occasion the memory – (Now…what were we fighting about again?)

This truly is a blessing!

My dad’s new pair of glasses meant he could accept both of our diseases because it was reality… Good, bad or ugly.... It is life. Acceptance, understanding, and loving what life has to offer is much easier than distorting, blocking and making things bigger than what they are.

Battling an illness is not easy, however experiencing life with real glasses is… Eyeglasses that help us see what’s most important, during this holiday season and throughout the year and that is-Faith, Friends and Family…the rest is...well, small stuff.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

From The Crazy Thyroid Lady!

DON’T FORGET TO BE COUNTED FILL OUT THE SURVEY…CLICK ON SURVEY MONKEY OR FACEBOOK IN THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER!

THYROID SURVEY given by The Crazy Thyroid Lady ™

Hi guys,

Well, I am sure you will be shocked and amazed to hear my government did not respond to the recent letter I sent (see my blog November 27, 2011 My Letter to the Government). Don’t they understand thyroid sufferers are impatient and have no time for bureaucracy?

Hmmmpt! Well, I’ve decided to conduct my own THYROID SURVEY!

Take that government, medical and scientific community, welcome to the 21st-century in the age of social networking! Bureaucracy shureacracy!

If you want to find us, we are here!

The Crazy Thyroid Lady appreciates any and all comments received with regard to my blog, I love you all! But I think some missed my point. There very well may be a link between thyroid disease and gout. There may also be a connection between thyroid disease and anxiety, thyroid disease and fatigue, thyroid disease and brain fog, also thyroid disease and Kevin Bacon.

Having said this, I still do not believe a trustworthy survey should lump “thyroid disease and gout” in the same question on a questionnaire survey, especially If the attempt is to find out how many of us sufferers are in the world.

It is OK however, to offer this question:

"Do you have thyroid disease or have ever met or seen Kevin Bacon?"

Tee hee...Kidding aside…Would you please click on either links in the upper right corner. If you have a facebook account, you can go on the facebook link or click on the survey monkey link....Remember this is an anonymous survey!!


THE SURVEY WILL BE CLOSED SOON SO HURRY AND BE COUNTED!

Please pass this survey along to other thyroid sufferers as well.

Thanks

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH, SICK AND FAMOUS

Many of my thyroid suffering brothers and sisters have shared with the Crazy Thyroid Lady through e-mail, twitter and facebook how much they appreciate this blog because it helps them see that they are not alone.

YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT ALONE!!

In fact, even the rich and famous are not immune to this wretched illness.

Some of those celebrity sufferers include:

Rod Stewart - Thyroid cancer
Sofia Vergara – Thyroid cancer
Nia Vardalos - Hashimoto’s thyroiditis
Kelly Osbourne - Hyperthyroidism
Catherine Bell – Thyroid Cancer
Kim Catrell - Hashimoto’s disease
Missy Elliott – Graves disease
Kim Alexis - Hashimoto's disease
Joe Piscapo – Thyroid Cancer
Gail Devers – Graves Disease
Jillian Michaels - Hypothyroidism
Mary Louise Parker – Hypothyroidism

And let us not forget, her highness, Oprah…yes that’s right Oprah! It seems money can’t protect someone from contracting thyroid disease…That tiny gland can even betray billionaires! Truth be told, some of Oprah’s rants about her thyroid disorder may have contributed to mainstream misconceptions about the disease. Oprah has made this disease all about “weight”.

Oh God, how I wish weight issues were the only thing associated with thyroid disease. Just dealing with THAT issue alone would be easy.

As I was Googling the aforementioned celebrities for this blog, I noticed many of them, also said they were primarily concerned about their weight.

Hmmm…so this got me to thinking…Perhaps the thyroid-ailing rich and famous (we all know their lifestyles do not equal the common man) have ONLY weight issues when battling thyroid disease??…Maybe they have doctors, nutritionists, herbalists, personal chefs, acupuncturists and leprechauns all working around the clock to control those other pesky symptoms.

And don’t get me started with the rich and famous who have political power. After George Herbert Walker Bush, the 41st president of the United States, and his wife Barbara Bush became ill with an autoimmune thyroid disease while living in the White House a team of Secret Service agents tested their water at the various homes of which the then President resides, immediately following their diagnosis.

Immediately following my diagnosis a team of my family members tested my nerves by constantly asking me, “Hey mom, what’s for dinner?”

Then…BAM…Guess what Oprah? I received one of your AH, HA moments! The common everyday thyroid-diseased person MUST become rich and famous to receive adequate care! I guess one is not immune if they are rich…just thinner, with fewer symptoms…Yea!!

OK, so let’s get started guys...Ummm is there a book called “Become Rich and Famous for Dummies”?

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

THYROID DISEASE FEELS LIKE...

When asked, “Hey Crazy Thyroid Lady, what does it feel like to have a thyroid disease?” I usually just give a short answer, ya know, a taste of what it’s like, without going into too much detail…

I am appreciative when they ask, although it annoys me when they respond with: “Oh, I do that too” OR “That sounds like me!”

I know, I know it takes everything within your power not to slap the crap out of these folks. However, DON’T DO IT!! It seems like they are belittling your pain, but just blow them off! It is their feeble attempt to show compassion by making light of the situation…besides, it would be awkward if they were to say the alternative: “God that’s awful, your life pretty much sucks!”

Now, if they REALLY do think they “feel your pain” Tell them this -

Thyroid disease feels like…After you get up, take a shower, get dressed, do your hair, fix breakfast…you would then give all the money you have in the world for the chance to go back to bed, because those five tasks took every bit of energy you had.

Others will say – That’s how I feel too…the difference is, we feel this way most, if not all of the time AND chances are, if we did go back to bed we would be back to sleep in a matter of minutes.





Thyroid disease feels like … You walk into the grocery store and can’t remember why you came.

Others will say – That is how I feel too…the difference is, we may not remember the events leading up to how we even made it to the grocery store.



Thyroid disease feels like …You can sit through a company meeting and not comprehend one thing that is going on.

Others will say – That’s how I feel too…the difference is…We tried to pay attention.



Thyroid disease feels like …You drop something on the ground in public and would rather leave it because your body has been aching all day and you REALLY don’t want to bend down and pick it up.

Others will say – That’s how I feel too…the difference is…You are moving too slow to get down and pick up the item off the floor so an 80-year-lady runs over to get it for you instead.



Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

MY LETTER TO THE GOVERNMENT

Hello Ms. Sebelius, Madam Secretary of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.


Protecting the health of Americans while providing them essential human services, must be a daunting task. So thanks for taking a minute of your time to read what follows:

For the past five years, I too have had a daunting task…trying to fight to feel well! I have been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called Graves’ disease. Suffering from ANY autoimmune disease by itself is a tribulation; there is no cure, no one knows how it is acquired and there is much debate on the course of treatment. By adding a thyroid disorder to the mix you have a case of millions of Americans chronically sick, fighting to get better treatment.

The thyroid controls just about every cell in the body, when this gland goes off kilter, so does just about everything else. When the “everything else” in the body is not addressed it is very difficult to function. It is not addressed mainly because- MD’s don’t know how to address all the ailments associated with thyroid disease (I blame this on the various MD specialties at the present time) And/or the insurance companies are dictating to the MD’s that only treatment for the thyroid gland itself should be addressed when it comes to patient care. Here is a perfect example of what I am referring to:

A. After years with my Endocrinologist…I am still not feeling well so then I decide to…
B. Call my family doctor and have him run some other blood tests-just for my own peace of mind if nothing else. I told him I wanted my hormones checked, an antibody test, pituitary and adrenals
C. My doctor told me he could do the antibody test, but I must ask my OBGYN to do the hormone test…AND then instructed me to…
D. Go back to my Endo for the other tests…My endocrinologist is stuck in some kind of a tunnel because she will not do anything outside of treating my thyroid. UGGGGHHHHH! What is going on with healthcare? Shouldn’t the patient have a say??

It is simple math: Autoimmune disease (No one has a clue) + Thyroid disease (Myriad of untreated ailments) = sick, tired and frustrated patients.

Thousands of thyroid sufferers are forming support groups all over the social networking mediums venting and trying to get answers we desperately need from the medical community. It is so sad. My heart bleeds for them because I am in the same sinking ship.

I am in the process of writing a book (I also write a blog) about this phenomenon. I call this a phenomenon because there are supposedly 50 million AD sufferers(reported by the American Autoimmune Related Disease Association), yet we are all getting vastly different answers to our questions and treatment modalities across the country (even around the world).

The majority of us (medical community, insurance companies, patients and the like) are fuddling around in the dark, and I blame some of this on the government. Here is why:

When I began doing research for my book on AD’s and thyroid conditions (not cancer related this is a different category), I went to the CDC’s website to gain more knowledge on the two. Wow, did I find pretty much nothing! I then e-mailed the CDC and a wonderful gal helped me by sending my question regarding disease stats, prevalence, etc., She e-mailed my question to various survey depts.

When my answer came back, my jaw dropped. They gave me the stats I was looking for based on a question the government sends out every year. Here is the question used for the government’s sampling survey tool for a thyroid condition:

How long have you had a thyroid problem, Grave's disease or gout?

GOUT? What does gout have to do with Graves’ disease or the thyroid?

If this is a survey question that has been sent out by the government over the past ten years, how would this properly represent those with Grave’s disease, Hashimoto’s (another thyroid autoimmune disease) or folks who have gout for that matter?

I can tell you right now and I am no medical expert,but gout and graves disease have no business in the same sentence on a questionnaire.

After getting this news from the CDC, I had an epiphany as to why we as thyroid disease patients feel so mistreated, misinformed and misperceived. Perhaps, it is because we are misrepresented. We are lumped in with gout.

Sigh, I am afraid to admit it, but I bet me and my fellow thyroid ailers are the thyroid disease pioneers of today, someone has to bear the brunt I guess. I am sure there were diabetes’ pioneers and as I am writing this another ugly disease is rearing its ugly head. If so, please do not place it with gout on a survey. I am sure gout people want a question all their own.

Anyway please use this letter as an official plea to change your surveying practices for thyroid disease, get accurate numbers, and give us more information about autoimmune diseases. My hope in reaching out to the government at this level is that the information and education will trickle down to those who need it the most. Just like every pioneer, we have to start somewhere.

Please notify me and let me know how I can help in anyway. I will reach out to you again soon to see what progress has been made if I have not heard from you.

Sincerely

Carol Gray
Thyroid and Autoimmune Disease Advocate

AMERICANS - I urge all of you who are reading this blog please write to our government (Secretary to the Health Human Service E-mail is below). If all of us become thyroid advocates, instead of only a few, perhaps we can band together to get the care we so richly deserve!

Kathleen.Sebelius@hhs.gov

OTHER COUNTRIES– YOU CAN CONTACT THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION

info@who.int

THIS WEEK'S THYROID NEWS!

I escaped!! My husband and son have me chained to a manual 1957 Adler Universal 200, large heavy duty typewriter. I miss my thyroid family so much, sob, that I snuck out for a bit to see what’s up?…HI!! How’s it going?

I also broke out to post SOMETHING on my blog this week.

Plus, I think the fresh air will do me some good and perhaps help with my writer’s block….UGH!

Welp, I’d better get back to it…In the meantime, gonna leave you with some thyroid news….(whispering) I better get back to my book...SSHHHH... here they come.

HYPERTHYROID INFO:

http://astawerks.net/five-significant-reasons-to-relieve-and-prevent-hyperthyroidism/

YOGA FOR THE THYROID

http://yogawithkalidasa.com/yoga-benefits/yoga-for-thyroid-and-weight-loss/

LOVE THIS SITE!

http://empoweradrenal.com/thyroid-conditions

THYROID CANCER NEWS

http://www.cancer8.com/thyroid-cancer/symptoms.html

THE SPORTS SECTION
LPGA GOLFER

http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/article.aspx?subjectid=224&articleid=20111113_224_B9_CUTLIN377636

ON HIATUS

Hello All,

I am sorry to announce Crazy Thyroid Lady’s blog will be on hiatus during the month of November…

However, I do have another announcement that I hope you will find exciting!
I am in the process (several chapters in) of writing a book detailing the perpetual, exhausting and unpredictable thyroid roller coaster I’m on…Just the other day my husband and son gave me a good tongue lashing because they feel I am letting too many other things distract me from getting this book finished.

“Hey, I have thyroid disease…getting distracted is what I do…Yeesh!”

Sigh, anyway…they are right!

So, no more blogs for a while, OR DINNERS…do you hear that boys?! Just kidding, I will feed them, I guess.

I hope one day y’all will read my book…that’s if I am not too embarrassed to air my crazy dirty laundry…we’ll see…until then I’ll keep writing

Be well, my thyroid family

Love you

Crazy Thyroid Lady

THYROID POETRY (THYROETRY)

It was a pink, pretty butterfly

Then a poisonous pill called RAI made you die

Or are you?...Really dead?

Did you transform into something else instead

Perhaps you are a vampire bat

Sucking my energy, making me fat

I WANT THIS VAMPIRE BAT REMOVED

I don’t want it anymore

Maybe I’ll call on Ozzy Osbourne

Till then, on October 31st be afraid of what you can’t see

Cuz lurking in the shadows just might be the scary, horrifying

CRAZY THYROID LADY



HAPPY HALLOWEEN MY PRETTIES...MUWAHHHHHH!

I CAN HANDLE DA TRUTH!

Oh my goodness, I am in shock right now, just left my endocrinologist’s office. I had to race to my car and compose my blog RIGHT NOW!

I know I know I promised funny MD stories. However, right now I have just one MD story worth telling!

Let me preface by giving you an account of the relationship I have/had with my endocrinologist:

1. First date
2. Swept me off my feet with hope for a bright future
3. Marriage
4. Separation
5. Divorce
6. Argument
7. Settlement
8. Reconciliation

Reconciliation came after our tumultuous patient/MD relationship spanning almost five years.

This is truly a joyous occasion because when I divorced her, I am sure she stayed up many nights thinking about “that one patient who got away”. I showed her didn’t I?!!!!

But then, out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to give her one more chance. It’s just not good to hold grudges…Plus, ummm… I’m kind of cheap and the “rebound” MD did not bill insurance companies. His patients had to pay out of pocket…PLUS he was an hour away from my house.


I originally divorced my doc because she and I differed on my thyroid treatment plan.

On today’s visit, I told her what I needed and an argument ensued. It wasn’t Muhammad Ali vs. Joe Frazier, but, our voices resonated I’m sure. She finally agreed to do things my way (which is not all that medically unconventional …trust me!) Arrogance, rigidity and lawsuits get in the way of doing what’s best for the individual patient sometimes.

Anyway, THAT’S NOT THE EXCITING PART OF THIS STORY!!!

I finally heard these words from my MD:

“Look Carol, the only thing I am doing is treating your hypothyroidism. You are now hypothyroid because the radiation procedure I recommended you having years ago was given to in essence ‘kill’ your thyroid. I cannot not treat your autoimmune disease, because we currently do not have a cure. She went onto say, “For whatever reason, your body has a hard time adjusting to thyroid hormone replacement medications.”

These are the words I’ve wanted to hear since day one, for as she spoke those words to me all I heard was: I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, BUT I AM TRYING! This is all I’ve ever wanted to hear...Doc! Now, she and I can work collaboratively, feeling our way through the dark towards a common goal. Instead of me getting frustrated with her, thinking she is supposed to give me all the answers…she doesn’t know, she is after all…”practicing” medicine.


I feel so empowered now, akin to when I was a little girl and realized teachers were regular human beings; not some sort of deity. Professionals put one pant leg on at a time; they also have bad days, don’t have all the answers and on occasion are wrong.

Please pray that our wedded reunion will remain blissful. Besides, I can’t afford the other doctor. Who knows, with the extra money I’m saving maybe I can launch my clothing line for the “Chronically Ill.”





Next Week – No promises, because there is no tellin’ what the Crazy Thyroid Lady will get herself into!

I WONDER IF DOROTHY COULD HAVE WEATHERED THIS STORM?

I interrupt this program to give you UGH…Auntie Em’ Auntie ‘Em. I don’t think I feel well anymore. A storm is a brewin’

I was all set to give you some of my funny MD office visit stories but a thyroid storm rolled through. Not a biggie just a tiny one. Not an ER-visit one…THANK GOD! I’ve already had two of those this year…one visit in particular, turned from an innocent trip to the “doc in the box” (Immediate Care) to the doc not liking my heart rhythm so she had an ambulance come take me to the hospital. HOW EMBARRASSING!!

What made the experience even worse is that the MD was foreign and when she called 911, dispatch thought she said 4-year old in cardiac arrest – instead of 40-year old. About eight big, burly paramedics and firemen came running in only to be disappointed…it was just little ole me. Boy, they were pissed! Then as they wheeled me out on the stretcher it took all I had NOT to be the jokester that I am (cuz after all I am crazy) and give all gawkers the “two thumbs up” signal. I had plenty of rubber neckers too because the location of this Immediate Care was situated right next to a Dairy Queen on a bright, hot, sunny, Friday evening.

Sigh, the life of a thyroid sufferer. It’s not boring that’s for sure!

One minute. You feel good, possibly…if you are lucky… even great and then the next day …BAM This sick feeling can come over you which could last anywhere from one day to three months. Stress IS THE MAIN CULPRIT for me and I am not talkin stub my pinkie toe stress either.

For those who don’t know the feeling, but have a loved one going through this… A Thyroid Storm usually includes:



Rapid Heart Rate - No, The thyroid sufferer doesn’t hate you. A racing heart makes him or her very irritable.

Nausea and Vomiting – No, the thyroid sufferer does not have an eating disorder (although their weight may fluctuate drastically at times) – he or she is just sick!

Tremors – No, the thyroid sufferer is not a drunk. He or she is shaking because of the abnormal thyroid hormone levels.

Extreme Fatigue – No, the thyroid sufferer is not lazy. He or she spent all their energy getting up, getting dressed and going to work. That is about all that is left in the tank!

Other symptoms can include: irregular heart rate, diarrhea, weakness, confusion/disorientation, fever and dehydration. Storms can be deadly, so take care!

This is about all I can write. Hopefully I will be back to my normal next week. Love you my brothers and sisters! We are in a Thyroid DYSFUNCTIONal family but I still love ya!


Until next week…I need to do what I do best in this condition….zzzzzzzzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZZZ!

KILL BUZZ!

Growing up in the U.S., getting a primary education means many many years of math, science and language arts. For me, math and science were icky. Language arts was my fav – a wonderful mix of literature and linguistics. As an adult (an adult with thyroid disease, therefore my memory is on the fritz), but I’m pretty sure understanding and knowing corporate buzz terms was not a part of the curriculum. And where, after all, do educators expect one to go after an education – THE CORPORATE WORLD!

We are not equipped people!

This is why I am hoping to get a law passed, banning banal Buzz terms and aimless Acronyms for us thyroid sufferers!

Just a little thyroid 101 (according to the crazy thyroid lady) – The brain and the thyroid are close co-workers……if the thyroid goes wonky, so does the brain. We cannot be expected to know and remember these terms!




We want you to KISS us…this is the only acronym that should be allowed…Keep It Simple...eh, stud... er sexy…shoot, I can’t remember…see what I mean?! OK, never mind...BAN THEM ALL!!!

I say, if this terminology and their meanings weren’t drummed into us growing up, then we should not be expected to know them ALL OF A SUDDEN as adults.


For example, I was in a board meeting with the CEO and others. We were reviewing an agenda she was going to send out to our business partners. I asked her what a particular word meant on the agenda. She said it meant”blah, blah.” “Blah Blah” was like the easiest word ever! Everyone knew “blah, blah”…It was as common as the word THE! Did she want to sound smarter? I don’t get it! So the whoooooollllllllleeeee entire time, I can’t concentrate on the rest of the meeting. I am not listening to a word anyone else is saying… because I am trying to figure out why she chose NOT to use the word blah, blah!

This is the reason I need an extra week of Paid Time Off.

Are you like me? Do you hate these terms – Ballpark, core values, end of the day, win-win, value-added….Seriously…UGH? It just leaves my brain in knots, picturing me and my co-workers playing baseball after work. After nine innings, we are victorious and win a valuable trophy. With these kinds of funny pictures in one’s head, why on earth would you want to like…pay attention to the CEO?

Sigh, unfortunately I am just not on the same page because I am too busy thinking outside the box.

Next week’s blog - asinine conversations I’ve had with doctors about my thyroid disease.

Clothing Line For the Chronically Ill...How 'Bout It?

Quite frankly, on occasion, the thyroid sufferer feels like they’ve been hit by a Mack Truck!

For me, when I am feeling like “road kill” being a fashionista is the last thing on my mind. Getting dressed for work in the morning, I am thinking comfort…and in the fashion world…comfy clothing usually means ugly.

A thyroid disease is an invisible illness that few people know how fatigued you are, or how bad your joints ache. They only see you are dressed like a hot mess (don’t want to generalize, this is my situation…If you feel like crap but are in vogue…go ahead with your bad self, and tell me your secret.)

I would love to look HOT and stylish, BUT, more importantly, I want comfort! Therefore, I am reaching out (pleading) to Calvin, Prada, Chanel, Yves or Tommy… Please give us something comfortable that looks good!

This is what I want:

Clothes

New York’s fashion week occurred several weeks ago, I did not see any outfits for the chronically sick. Ummm…Hello…there are only a gazillion of us in the world! I saw tight-tailored outfits …no loose fitting stuff. I need loose fitting to cater to my crazy weight fluctuations. I need clothing that breathes no spandex please. Hmmm…let me think of an example… You know the outfit you receive when you go to the hospital, like say …before surgery?? What’s it called…oh yeah, a surgical gown. That’s what I want! I want this new clothing line to be called Pre-Op or Post-Op - I’m not picky, whatever rolls off society’s tongue. Would love to see different sizes, shapes, colors, and fabrics...except for maybe burlap, looking like a serf from the dark ages would not be attractive. Oh and don’t worry about not wanting anyone to see your hiney…the Pre-Op “everyday clothing line” will have you covered!








Shoes

My television addiction is The Real Housewives reality shows. Beverly Hills, OC, New Jersey, etc., and I see these women (especially the California gals) walking in Jimmy Choo or Gucci stiletto’s. I give these ladies the same bug-eyed glare and amazement; I would give to circus clowns. I mean stilts are stilts right?? They equally get my admiration! Thyroid gals or guys…I am not discriminating or judging - typically cannot wear this piece of equipment. However, if you are, again, let me know how you are pulling it off. Cuz if I placed those suckers on my feet, I would be in the ER within minutes having them surgically removed. Too much or too little thyroid hormone for me equates to my feet looking like Fred Flintstone by the end of a work day. This thyroid suffering gal‘s choice of footwear must make me feel like I am walking on clouds…not 20 inches above them. Again, it’s all about comfort, which is why you will usually catch me in my slippers. That’s right, when my feet have become Flintstoned; I can be seen wearing slippers at the grocery store, work, heck… anywhere!








Ahhhh…just imagine a clothing line called “Pre-Op”…Here is the commercial tagline:

Long hard day at the office? Just want to go home and relax or go to bed, but you are too tired to get undressed? Now, with the new Pre-Op line, you don’t have to…just climb into bed with whatever you were wearing that day!


Next week’s blog – Corporate BUZZ words – I am convinced they are used to torture thyroid sufferers!

...MAYBE YOU'RE A HYPOCHONDRIAC?

I have been called a hypochondriac by acquaintances, family members, co-workers and friends…like…OMG abazillion times!!! I’ve also heard “Are you sure it is not all in your head, or could it be psychosomatic??

Often times, these are people who barely know me or family members with whom I am not very close. But those who are very close to me and have said this…it really hurts.


After ten years of hearing these folks “ diagnose” me, I FINALLY received a clinical one –An autoimmune disease affecting my thyroid, I wanted to go back to all those people and say SEE…HAHAHA…I TOLD YOU SO!!...YEA!!...oh…umm…wait a minute!?


Anyway, I am not sure why folks are so quick to call a person a freaking Looney Tunes instead of believing there is really something physically wrong with them.

Society loves to SMACK extreme labels on people and it is usually a severe mental health disorder…have you noticed this?? For example:


Someone who:

…Is moody has Dissociated Identity Disorder
…Is the life of the party… is an Alcoholic
…Falls asleep while watching TV is a Narcoleptic
…Is skinny has Anorexia Nervosa
…Frowns has clinical depression
…Frowns on a cloudy day has Seasonal Affective Disorder
…Has a chronic illnesses (diagnosed or undiagnosed) is a Hypochondriac.

Soooooo ridiculous!!!

Do we throw these “buzz” medical terms around just because we can? Just because we’ve heard of them? This reminds me of a small child blurting out an offensive four-lettered word for the first time. The little tot (hopefully) has no idea what they are saying or the meaning behind the word. They just repeat what they’ve heard.

If you look up these terms hypochondriac, dissociated identity disorder, anorexia, etc., they are REAL disorders, but because of their severity, I am pretty sure quick glances and conversations should not bring about a clinical determination. I wouldn’t even want an MD to do this!

If I’ve really got something…test me, poke, me, prod me (the doctor)...not my acquaintances, family members, co-workers, etc.

Also, if a person wants to give THEMSELVES an extreme diagnosis label…that is OK they have the right. If I want to call myself fat, I can. No one else should! (Hubby are you reading this??…You cannot call me FAT!)

Be sensitive to others…think before you give someone your “medical” opinion.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

Dawn of a Different Dead





Resident Evil, 28 Days later, The Crazies…these were considered “fiction” movies. But, I know the real story. You see, my friends… zombies are real and they are all around us. They drive, shop, work and operate heavy machinery. They are your everyday average thyroid sufferers.


Real- life zombies 101 – Unlike most zombie movies there are two different types of these horrific creatures – Treated and Untreated.


Medically Treated – These zombies appear when they forget to take their medicine, have extremely high stress levels or heck… with thyroid disease you seriously don’t know when this creature will emerge. Doctors don’t know either. For me, I have honed in on my inner zombie, I call her Zenith and she comes out when it is that time of the month, the aftermath of stress, a drastic diet change or an infection. You can talk to Zenith but she may travel far off into some other time zone, without even moving a muscle. Zenith drives to work but she can’t remember how she got there. Zenith is thinking, “Good morning,” but she may not verbalize it, she may grunt at you instead. Coffee, Red Bull or 5-Hour Energy do not work for Zenith. Zenith just wants to eat flesh (dinner) and go to bed.


Medically Un-treated (Doctors can’t figure out what the heck is wrong with you, despite your pleas for help) – These zombies are scary and resemble what is depicted in the movies. I would stay away from these zombies -between MD’s telling them they are crazy and the daily horrors of thyroid disease they are liable to bite your head off. When I went approximately ten years untreated my inner zombie was the nastiest creature east of the Mississippi. She would snarl, bark and bite. She had bruises all over her body because she ran into walls a lot from clumsiness and poor eyesight. You could find her wandering around in the Wal-Mart parking lot for long periods of time trying to figure out what kind of car she drove there.

Unfortunately, both types walk among us. Zombies are..er...um people too, so give them love and don’t take it personally when they may look through you instead of at you.

ZENITH’S TOP 5 ZOMBIE –LIKE MOMENTS (Treated or untreated)

5. Walking around the grocery store for about an hour not realizing why I came there in the first place.

4. Going with my husband (of nearly 20 years) to a family get together and not remembering half of the names of the people there. I was in my 30’s at the time. (My MD thought it was a good idea to take me off my thyroid medication for six weeks.)

3. Going through an entire week and not being able to recollect what I did during the week. Where I drove, who I talked to, what I did at work, what I cooked for dinner, conversations…etc., This is a serious situation and was pre-diagnosis (THANK GOD!)

2. Sitting at my desk at work for 8 hours…yes that’s right 8 hours doing pretty much nothing but stare at the cubicle, then the computer, then back to the cubicle.


AND THE NUMBER ONE ZOMBIE LIKE MOMENT…DRUM ROLL PLEASE…

1. I signed my son’s permission slip that it was OK for him to keep the classroom “pet rat” after his class was done with their little experiment. So yes, he brought a RAT home because his mommy said it was OK.




What eludes me is how so many MD’s do not understand how a thyroid disorder can wreak this much havoc. The thyroid is bosom buddies with the pituitary gland (in the brain). They are close co-workers. Sooooo doesn’t it make sense one would have mental issues associated with thyroid disease???


Please leave a comment and tell me your number ONE zombie moment…hopefully docs will read this!


Next week’s blog – Hypochondria….hahahahaha, if you are a thyroid disease sufferer, reading that word just ticked you off…hahahahaha…calm down

Short Term, Long Term...It's Gone

Before the onset of my thyroid disease, simialr to Superman’s strength and Spiderman’s senses, I too had a Superpower... a Super Duper Keen Eidetic (photographic MEMORY)!

Here is an illustration of my power:

(Disclaimer: I would only use my power to fight the forces of Evil)

Time Period: Grade school
Event: Story Time with my class, and my 2nd grade teacher
Where: In the classroom, in our usual semi-circle

Our teacher would read to us for 15 minutes every Friday before the end of the day, her name was Ms. ???? (There’s not a chance in hell I could recall this lady’s name, for I have accepted the Kryptonite that has damaged my superpower). Teach was sweet, demure and soft spoken, that is until you pissed her off! Her ire was quite obvious; well…at least to me… her hair told the whole story... She had stick-straight hair, but when she got angry, it would start to puff up like a Brillo Pad!

On that particular day during our reading circle, I noticed teach’s hair began to pop out from its prone position. She was frantically, trying to locate the page number where she left off…all the while her little kiddo’s were tuning up. Doing what kids do best when it is too quiet for too long – chatter. As we were getting louder, her hair grew bigger. In a matter of moments this chick’s hair went from Audrey Hepburn to Albert Einstein. I knew if her hair reached Einstien status we would get an earful.

Trying to save the day, I immediately I spoke up and said “Ms. ____ we are on page 39.”

“Thanks Carol,” she said.

Whew, everything grew calm, even her hair. Another major catastrophe averted!

FFFFFFAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTFOOOOOOOORRRRWWWWWARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD – Pre-Thyroid disease diagnosis - at my sickest!

My husband and I are watching a “Whodunit” mystery. He could always rely on me to know before the second commercial who was the murderer, AND how it was going to be solved. As we were watching together the commercial came on and he turned to me to ask,

“So what do ya think, who’s the killer?”

At that moment, I realized I had no idea who was the killer…and I had no idea what we were watching! Seriously…If you placed a gun to my head, I would not have been able to tell you what television program I had on at that moment...

Now, I bring this story up to illustrate that most of us thyroid sufferers know we have memory issues associated with our thyroid disease...

Why don’t MD’s have this memo?!?

A few weeks ago I had one of my annual trips to the ER, so I brought a notepad with all my stymptoms jotted down, and told him I had memory issues because of a thyroid disease and this is why I needed to use the notepad... He had the nerve to say “Memory problems… this is not a symptom of thyroid disease.”

You know, when you are in one of those situations where you wish you had said something but you didn’t? This was one of those moments for me! – I sooooo wished I would have said:

“Oh, OK, can I cancel this visit? Please do not bill my insurance company or me.! I came here seeking help from someone who knows what they are doing, and obviously you don’t!”

Thyroid disease sufferers, I ask you:

WHY SHOULD WE CONTINUE TO PUT UP WITH POOR MEDICAL SERVICE...
WE AREN’T EXPECTED TO IN ANY OTHER PROFESSION??!!!

Next week’s blog is about: ZOMBIES!

Crazy Thyroid Lady

My first post as the Crazy Thyroid Lady. Boy have I come a long way since then. I don't have the same fluctuations as I did before. Changed doc, diet and disposition. Came to the understanding that I had to take more control of my health. And of course, I still strive for CRAZY Conserving Restoring Adding Zest IN You Keep going CRAZY, my thyroid family.






Why do Md's ignore a thyroid disease sufferer’s body fluctuations? We can travel from hypo to hyper with regularity, on or off medications. These swings cannot be good for us both mentally and physically. It is very rare that I am in the "normal" range. I am talking MY normal, not the normal someone made up, which is supposed to encompass all of mankind on the planet.

I think, blood work should occur as often as a diabetic patient. If we are feeling bad…prick us? Seriously…if we did this, I believe we would live in a kinder, gentler nation.

I have been struggling with thyroid problems for more than 10 years. I have my body fluctuations down to a science, for example, see below:

The following scenario illustrates me checking out at the grocery store and the store clerk asks me an innocent question – “Do you want your receipt with you or in the bag.” These are my thoughts depending on my thyroid levels.

Me – Hypothyroid - “You can put it in the bag.” ….Sigh...Whatever, I don’t care, I shouldn't’t even be in here spending this money. I am one paycheck away from sleeping in gutters with the rest of the homeless people. Maybe you should give the receipt to me; I may have to use it as toilet paper when I am a hobo living on the streets.


Me- Normal thyroid levels – “You can put it in the bag.”…Awww look at her pretty smile, I bet she brightens a lot of customer’s days when they come in here.


Me- Hyperthyroid – “You can put it in the bag.”…Take this receipt and shove it up your ass, what kind of stupid question is that?


If these are my thoughts, can you imagine what my attitude must be like during these thyroid swings?

COME ON THYROID SUFFERERS WE MUST GET THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING NEEDS TO HAPPEN TO TRY TO KEEP US NORMAL!!!!

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book, Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy. Buy it on Amazon today.