THYROID ARMY

Those of you who know me, know I have a vivid imagination, reminiscent of a five-year old… Those little kiddos with their hazy looks, staring off into space are undoubtedly sailing around the world on a pirate ship, or swinging from tree to tree in the jungle like Tarzan.

Hmmmm, I guess the part of the brain that suppresses childlike-imagination when one gets older, never happened to me. As an adult, it is nothing for me to travel off into outer space, battling space alien zombies while sitting at an important board meeting with my grown-up colleagues. Anything can trigger it…then I’m gone...

On this particular occasion, my daydream episode started with a request I received on my facebook page (Thyroid News-Updates from the Crazy Thyroid Lady). The request was to post a link to a website with information about a petition for us thyroidians to electronically sign for better thyroid treatment, and the petition will be sent to the following groups:

International Society of Endocrinology
Society for Endocrinology
American Thyroid Association
American Board of Internal Medicine

While reading the message about the petition during a meeting at work, I had to contain my enthusiasm by pretending I received an important “work related" text message. (You know you read twitter and facebook messages or play games during meetings too, stop judging)

I got all pumped up and promptly told my facebook friend, I would post it on my facebook page, twitter, and blog.

I thought...It is quite sad we must do these types of things to fight to feel better!

Uh oh, the word “FIGHT” was the trigger this time...

I began to imagine me fighting with others in a thyroid army.

An army of us thyroid sufferers were sleeping in our barracks when the sergeant came in for the 5:00 am reveille. The bugling ended abruptly, however, when one of my fellow thyroid soldiers threatened to shove the bugle down the sergeant’s throat if he did not come back at noon. After waking up at the crack of noon, we solders got ready for weapon’s training…only…um we weren’t allowed any real weapons (If you have thyroid disease, you pretty much know why). Instead we were trained on how to use our beady-eyed intimidating stares as weapons.

In the thyroid army, in lieu of tight fitting fatigues, we wear camouflaged moo moos and comfortable slippers. We aren’t required to know Morse code, because thyroid sufferers could possibly forget how to communicate in this way. Lord only knows how those messages would turn out. Oh and booby traps or enemy mines are out of the question, as we would ultimately forget where they were and…well…

Eeeek, this daydream is becoming too scary! So glad we don’t have to fight in an actual war, even though I am sure some of your doctor’s appointments have felt like major combat.

Alternatively, there are other ways to fight for better thyroid care. For more information about the petition.
Please go to:

https://www.change.org/petitions/board-certified-endocrinologists-should-be-proficient-in-and-mandated-to-be-current-on-thyroid-disorders-treatment

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

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A recent conversation I had with a fellow thyroid sufferer helped me come up with this latest blog post.

Because the thyroid gland affects just about every cell in the body, a multitude of symptoms can occur-from your hair to your little piggies. This is why it is so difficult to diagnose and treat.
How do you begin mending a sinking boat full of holes?

My fellow thyroid suffering comrade said she could not place all the blame on the multiple misdiagnoses from MD’s, since she was in denial about several of her symptoms, and wasn’t exactly forthright with all them... in particular, the neurological symptoms, i.e., depression, anxiety, brain fog, irritability, slow thinking etc,. Sigh, why does society (myself included) sometimes have trouble understanding that symptoms of diseases can also develop from the neck up?

Therefore, in my quest to increase thyroid disease awareness and help the medical community realize EXACTLY what we suffer through, I am asking all of you to please leave a comment explaining HOW YOU FIRST KNEW, (but were hesitant to speak out). It is my hope that other thyroid sufferers and medical professionals will read these comments and perhaps, get a better understanding as to what thyroid disease is all about (not just about losing or gaining weight). Don’t get me wrong…weight is an issue, the thunder in my thighs are holding on for dear life, they do not want to leave, no matter what I do to try to get rid of them.

Ok, I will go first- Here it goes:

I first knew something was REALLY wrong with me , but did not know what to say or how to communicate this to my MD-Several years prior to my diagnosis, I began having major panic and anxiety attacks whenever I was enclosed in places like elevators, backs seats of cars and my cubicle at work. I was also having trouble with large crowds. I never had these issues before. Weird lumps on my right shin started to emerge and in my early 30’s, hot flashes were becoming the norm for me. Also, I began to start losing bits and pieces of my memory. Suddenly, (it seemed like overnight) the majority of my childhood memories were gone. It was like a giant eraser was used to remove that area in my brain where these memories were stored. This sucks, because from what I do remember, my upbringing was great!

So, this was my first “Hmmmm, something is REALLY wrong with me, but how in the world do I explain this to my doctor moment” Ha, because I knew I would receive the “Carol are you for real?” look.

K…So it’s your turn…what was yours?

I FIRST KNEW SOMETHING WAS REALLY WRONG WITH ME BUT DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE THIS -

If you are having trouble leaving a comment here on blogger then you can go to my facebook page (the link is at the top right of this page) and leave a comment there.

Thanks so much for giving some of your time to help raise awareness.

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

Crazy Thyroid Lady's Book Intro Part Two

“Mom, mom.”

“What honey?”

“Can me and Zach get some ice cream from the ice cream man?”

“I don’t have any money, babe.”

“I do, mom.”

Of course you do, you always have money, more than me, I thought. I walked to his room to get his piggy bank, mainly filled with green than metal. While walking back to the screen door, I noticed both little boys were looking so enthusiastic. You could just see it in their eyes, both visualizing the tasty ice cream treat, which will soon be a melting mess for me to clean up later. In an instant, I realized, playing a prank on them was an opportunity I could not pass up. Approaching the screen door, clutching the giant pink pig in my hands.

I roared:

“Muuwaahhhhh, you think you boys are getting some ice cream? (Gnashing my teeth, trying to do my best Peter Lorre impression) No way, the money’s all mine, all mine I tell you! Muwaaahhhh.”

The eerie crinkling noise produced by my lemony Pledge-filled hands was perhaps a little too theatrical for someone else’s child. My son was used to my behavior, but Zach’s mouth dropped to the ground. Tyler stared at his mother with no interest…both were just cute as buttons. Even though, there was a screen door between me and Zach, he still looked terrified. He looked at me with this perplexing, yet frightened gaze, then looked over at Tyler and said:

“Wow, Tyler you were right, your mom really is crazy!”

When Zach said this, I immediately started laughing hysterically, that this little guy was afraid of his best friend’s mommy? Then laughter promptly shifted to panic. Suddenly, a quick glimpse into my future of everyone knowing the real me was a scary notion. You see, the hard work and dedication Zach’s mom puts forth into her gossip telling is unlike anything I have ever seen. My crazy paranoia (this time) was valid. I firmly believe she has a secret passage way behind her washer and dryer. This is where she clandestinely slips into her secret underground bunker sending out gossip via Morse code. This “news” is then distributed throughout the neighborhood, surrounding counties, the state, the country and parts of Europe, all before sundown. The message will say: There is a crazy woman living at 725 Meadow Lake Drive in Carmel, IN. I will be outed, the jig is up.

“Oh well,” I thought to myself, “I might as well face the music.” The transition from laughter, to panic, soon gave way to relief. One of the best things about being crazy: a massive emotional shift can happen in seconds. Little known fact - when a dramatic actor in a movie instantaneously goes from laughing deliriously to crying, they are portraying someone with a thyroid disease.

After being outed, from that moment forward our yard was…well, let’s just say, we would certainly lose the Best Kept Yard award. My fake smiles ended and instead of playing ball with the brats, they received snarls. Looking back on it all, it was silly to hide my true self… but, when you are sick and you don’t know you are sick, you try to act well, Conversely, when you are sick and you know you are sick, you say, “What the hell.”


Thanks for reading my entire intro - I hope to have this Crazy book out sometime in 2012

Love ya - Don't forget to fill out the survey!

Crazy Thyroid Lady

MORE THYROETRY- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

It is almost the New Year

Thanks so much for having me here

On your computer each week with my blog

About the thyroid…a snippet, a prologue

To the book I am writing for 2012

Coming soon to your E-book shelf

I hope you will like what you read

From the Wild and Crazy Thyroid Lady

Here is a sneak peek at my book intro - Part 1...Look for Part 2 next week

Intro

It is estimated that 50 million Americans suffer from an autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, Crohn’s, lupus, etc., (aarda.org, 2011). Fifty million is roughly equivalent to the combined populations of California and Texas! Nearly 12 million Americans have a thyroid disease, Hashimoto, Graves, hypercalcemia, cancer, etc., (Harvard, 2011). I have both a thyroid and autoimmune disease. This is my journey from sanity to psychosis and now at comfortably crazy.

We moved into an upper-middle class neighborhood, filled with stay-at-home moms, green lawns, mischievous children and white-collar dads in their loosened ties. I was never really the kind of person to put on airs, but in this neighborhood, I tried to be a little more reserved. Upgrading from an apartment, to a tiny starter home, to our new place became essential. We had to keep moving into bigger dwellings because my son’s toys were taking over, his stuffed animals alone could populate the jungles of Africa. As we continued to expand, our living space wasn’t the only thing getting bigger: my physical and mental problems were as well.

As with most who suffer from thyroid autoimmune diseases, it can take an average of ten years with various ailments before finally achieving the correct diagnosis. This is because these kinds of diseases bring about many mental and physical conditions, finding it difficult to diagnose. It was during this time of figuring out what was wrong with me that I evolved into a Looney Tunes character, but kept everything behind closed doors of course. My neighbors had no idea. It was like “sucking in my gut” so to speak to the outside world, then letting it all hang out to my husband and son, Lucky them!

So there I was in my big-girl house with my big-girl mortgage trying to appear like I just another suburbanite. I spent time flowering, manicuring, hedging, trimming and watering; yard work is truly a full-time job, especially if perfection is the goal. Other pretentious residential activities included, tossing the ball with the neighborhood kiddos (including the brats) at the appropriate time of day: one half-hour before dinner or an hour after dinner. Waving, smiling those pearly whites to folks I most certainly could not pick out of a criminal line-up if my life depended on it.

“Oh, that’s one of my neighbors…really, are you sure officer?”


***

It was a gorgeous day in the neighborhood, opulent sunshine with the perfect amount of wind. I had all the windows open so I could feel the warm breeze coming into my house, an absolute idyllic Spring Cleaning day. I had achieved perfection on the outside of my home, it was time to clean the inside. The front door lay open to let the warm rays in, though the screen door remained closed to keep the bugs out. While diligently dusting the furniture, I heard his little voice say:


....TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK

DON'T FORGET JANUARY IS THYROID DISEASE AWARENESS MONTH, PLEASE FILL OUT THE SURVEY, CLICK ON ONE OF THE THE LINKS IN THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OF THIS PAGE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE YA

FROM THE CRAZY THYROID LADY!

Clothing Line For the Chronically Ill...How 'Bout It?

Quite frankly, on occasion, the thyroid sufferer feels like they’ve been hit by a Mack Truck!

For me, when I am feeling like “road kill” being a fashionista is the last thing on my mind. Getting dressed for work in the morning, I am thinking comfort…and in the fashion world…comfy clothing usually means ugly.

A thyroid disease is an invisible illness that few people know how fatigued you are, or how bad your joints ache. They only see you are dressed like a hot mess (don’t want to generalize, this is my situation…If you feel like crap but are in vogue…go ahead with your bad self, and tell me your secret.)

I would love to look HOT and stylish, BUT, more importantly, I want comfort! Therefore, I am reaching out (pleading) to Calvin, Prada, Chanel, Yves or Tommy… Please give us something comfortable that looks good!

This is what I want:

Clothes

New York’s fashion week occurred several weeks ago, I did not see any outfits for the chronically sick. Ummm…Hello…there are only a gazillion of us in the world! I saw tight-tailored outfits …no loose fitting stuff. I need loose fitting to cater to my crazy weight fluctuations. I need clothing that breathes no spandex please. Hmmm…let me think of an example… You know the outfit you receive when you go to the hospital, like say …before surgery?? What’s it called…oh yeah, a surgical gown. That’s what I want! I want this new clothing line to be called Pre-Op or Post-Op - I’m not picky, whatever rolls off society’s tongue. Would love to see different sizes, shapes, colors, and fabrics...except for maybe burlap, looking like a serf from the dark ages would not be attractive. Oh and don’t worry about not wanting anyone to see your hiney…the Pre-Op “everyday clothing line” will have you covered!








Shoes

My television addiction is The Real Housewives reality shows. Beverly Hills, OC, New Jersey, etc., and I see these women (especially the California gals) walking in Jimmy Choo or Gucci stiletto’s. I give these ladies the same bug-eyed glare and amazement; I would give to circus clowns. I mean stilts are stilts right?? They equally get my admiration! Thyroid gals or guys…I am not discriminating or judging - typically cannot wear this piece of equipment. However, if you are, again, let me know how you are pulling it off. Cuz if I placed those suckers on my feet, I would be in the ER within minutes having them surgically removed. Too much or too little thyroid hormone for me equates to my feet looking like Fred Flintstone by the end of a work day. This thyroid suffering gal‘s choice of footwear must make me feel like I am walking on clouds…not 20 inches above them. Again, it’s all about comfort, which is why you will usually catch me in my slippers. That’s right, when my feet have become Flintstoned; I can be seen wearing slippers at the grocery store, work, heck… anywhere!








Ahhhh…just imagine a clothing line called “Pre-Op”…Here is the commercial tagline:

Long hard day at the office? Just want to go home and relax or go to bed, but you are too tired to get undressed? Now, with the new Pre-Op line, you don’t have to…just climb into bed with whatever you were wearing that day!


Next week’s blog – Corporate BUZZ words – I am convinced they are used to torture thyroid sufferers!