I CAN HANDLE DA TRUTH!

Oh my goodness, I am in shock right now, just left my endocrinologist’s office. I had to race to my car and compose my blog RIGHT NOW!

I know I know I promised funny MD stories. However, right now I have just one MD story worth telling!

Let me preface by giving you an account of the relationship I have/had with my endocrinologist:

1. First date
2. Swept me off my feet with hope for a bright future
3. Marriage
4. Separation
5. Divorce
6. Argument
7. Settlement
8. Reconciliation

Reconciliation came after our tumultuous patient/MD relationship spanning almost five years.

This is truly a joyous occasion because when I divorced her, I am sure she stayed up many nights thinking about “that one patient who got away”. I showed her didn’t I?!!!!

But then, out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to give her one more chance. It’s just not good to hold grudges…Plus, ummm… I’m kind of cheap and the “rebound” MD did not bill insurance companies. His patients had to pay out of pocket…PLUS he was an hour away from my house.


I originally divorced my doc because she and I differed on my thyroid treatment plan.

On today’s visit, I told her what I needed and an argument ensued. It wasn’t Muhammad Ali vs. Joe Frazier, but, our voices resonated I’m sure. She finally agreed to do things my way (which is not all that medically unconventional …trust me!) Arrogance, rigidity and lawsuits get in the way of doing what’s best for the individual patient sometimes.

Anyway, THAT’S NOT THE EXCITING PART OF THIS STORY!!!

I finally heard these words from my MD:

“Look Carol, the only thing I am doing is treating your hypothyroidism. You are now hypothyroid because the radiation procedure I recommended you having years ago was given to in essence ‘kill’ your thyroid. I cannot not treat your autoimmune disease, because we currently do not have a cure. She went onto say, “For whatever reason, your body has a hard time adjusting to thyroid hormone replacement medications.”

These are the words I’ve wanted to hear since day one, for as she spoke those words to me all I heard was: I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, BUT I AM TRYING! This is all I’ve ever wanted to hear...Doc! Now, she and I can work collaboratively, feeling our way through the dark towards a common goal. Instead of me getting frustrated with her, thinking she is supposed to give me all the answers…she doesn’t know, she is after all…”practicing” medicine.


I feel so empowered now, akin to when I was a little girl and realized teachers were regular human beings; not some sort of deity. Professionals put one pant leg on at a time; they also have bad days, don’t have all the answers and on occasion are wrong.

Please pray that our wedded reunion will remain blissful. Besides, I can’t afford the other doctor. Who knows, with the extra money I’m saving maybe I can launch my clothing line for the “Chronically Ill.”





Next Week – No promises, because there is no tellin’ what the Crazy Thyroid Lady will get herself into!

Clothing Line For the Chronically Ill...How 'Bout It?

Quite frankly, on occasion, the thyroid sufferer feels like they’ve been hit by a Mack Truck!

For me, when I am feeling like “road kill” being a fashionista is the last thing on my mind. Getting dressed for work in the morning, I am thinking comfort…and in the fashion world…comfy clothing usually means ugly.

A thyroid disease is an invisible illness that few people know how fatigued you are, or how bad your joints ache. They only see you are dressed like a hot mess (don’t want to generalize, this is my situation…If you feel like crap but are in vogue…go ahead with your bad self, and tell me your secret.)

I would love to look HOT and stylish, BUT, more importantly, I want comfort! Therefore, I am reaching out (pleading) to Calvin, Prada, Chanel, Yves or Tommy… Please give us something comfortable that looks good!

This is what I want:

Clothes

New York’s fashion week occurred several weeks ago, I did not see any outfits for the chronically sick. Ummm…Hello…there are only a gazillion of us in the world! I saw tight-tailored outfits …no loose fitting stuff. I need loose fitting to cater to my crazy weight fluctuations. I need clothing that breathes no spandex please. Hmmm…let me think of an example… You know the outfit you receive when you go to the hospital, like say …before surgery?? What’s it called…oh yeah, a surgical gown. That’s what I want! I want this new clothing line to be called Pre-Op or Post-Op - I’m not picky, whatever rolls off society’s tongue. Would love to see different sizes, shapes, colors, and fabrics...except for maybe burlap, looking like a serf from the dark ages would not be attractive. Oh and don’t worry about not wanting anyone to see your hiney…the Pre-Op “everyday clothing line” will have you covered!








Shoes

My television addiction is The Real Housewives reality shows. Beverly Hills, OC, New Jersey, etc., and I see these women (especially the California gals) walking in Jimmy Choo or Gucci stiletto’s. I give these ladies the same bug-eyed glare and amazement; I would give to circus clowns. I mean stilts are stilts right?? They equally get my admiration! Thyroid gals or guys…I am not discriminating or judging - typically cannot wear this piece of equipment. However, if you are, again, let me know how you are pulling it off. Cuz if I placed those suckers on my feet, I would be in the ER within minutes having them surgically removed. Too much or too little thyroid hormone for me equates to my feet looking like Fred Flintstone by the end of a work day. This thyroid suffering gal‘s choice of footwear must make me feel like I am walking on clouds…not 20 inches above them. Again, it’s all about comfort, which is why you will usually catch me in my slippers. That’s right, when my feet have become Flintstoned; I can be seen wearing slippers at the grocery store, work, heck… anywhere!








Ahhhh…just imagine a clothing line called “Pre-Op”…Here is the commercial tagline:

Long hard day at the office? Just want to go home and relax or go to bed, but you are too tired to get undressed? Now, with the new Pre-Op line, you don’t have to…just climb into bed with whatever you were wearing that day!


Next week’s blog – Corporate BUZZ words – I am convinced they are used to torture thyroid sufferers!