SICK DURING A CHRONIC ILLNESS

My immune system and I were once close allies…Then all hell broke loose. It forged a large-scale attack on my thyroid.  I couldn’t figure out why my body betrayed me until extensive research of my new foe took me to its primary location-in the digestive tract.  I had been feeding it garbage, explaining the tyranny.

Thirty years of consuming junk tarnished our relationship, resulting in numerous viral and bacterial infections.

Some medical professionals don’t believe that having an autoimmune disease can cause a poorly functioning immune system.  I don’t agree with this, they should see my pharmacy bills post this autoimmune anarchy.

In spite of my reconciliation efforts my IS still a little miffed at me, I tend to catch more bugs than the average person but this has lessened immeasurably. At the time of this writing I have a little cold which inspired me to offer sickness tips for those with chronic disease:

What do doctors advise us to do when this happens? Here are the basics:

1.       Get a lot of rest

2.       Drink plenty of fluids

3.       Eat a healthy diet

While these are all excellent recommendations to follow, I believe we need a little more to help us get well.

1.       Don’t get paranoid – Since we’ve experienced a grim diagnosis before, (“You have an incurable autoimmune disease.”) we’ve probably lost our “illness innocence”. As a thyroidian, I am very paranoid and firmly believe this is a symptom of thyroid disease. I have been guilty on more than one occasion, of believing that a simple sinus infection has turned into my last moments on earth.  This is stress we don’t need during our convalescence.  

2.       Don’t get frustrated with the length of time it takes you to heal - An illness can run through our household, my hubby and son can be sick for a few days; meanwhile, I am down for a week or more. Having to spend more time and work much harder to be well used to cause me so much frustration.  Frustration can lead to stress and this can lead to depression and anxiety all these things exacerbate an illness. I’ve had to remember I have a body with a chronic illness and in healing mode.  I must be a patient, patient. If it takes a week to get better than I will continue to rest a week.  Your timetable of healing may not be the same as someone else’s’ so  keep that in mind

3.       “Eat a healthy diet” – Is a very vague statement. It’s best to consume only organic foods, not processed foods stay away from sugar, alcohol. DO NOT OVER EAT or eat a big meal before bed.  Don’t do anything that will tax where the majority of your immune system is housed. Autoimmunees, don’t make your immune system madder than it already is.

  

After several years of peace talks (eating healthier, taking supplements), I think my tract is heading down the right track. I’m not 100% and don’t know if I will ever get there, the damage may be irreparable… but each day I feel myself getting better, stronger.  My IS and I are now on good speaking terms.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

WHICH DOCTOR DO YOU HAVE?

Fortunately many have the luxury of “firing” bad doctors if they want to. However, often some don’t have the advantage of picking and choosing from a large pool of these professionals. Because of where they live, insurance restrictions, or financial concerns, many patients can’t control who they have as their primary care physician.

Who have you chosen as your doctor and/or who are you sort of “stuck” with?

Dr. House –Poor bedside manner, an enigma but can seem to solve all of your medical mysteries.

Dr. Frankenstein–Scary and creepy. The hair on the back of your neck stands up when they place their stethoscope on you.

Doc Baker (From the television show Little House on the Prairie)–The sweetest, most kind and gentle soul. Listens to you and is willing to try any method of treatment.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde–You have no idea which person will walk through the office door to treat you-the good person or the bad person.

Dr. Oz-Full of knowledge, very helpful, but the information given to you can be a little overwhelming.

Dr. Evil-Mean, surly, you get the feeling you are a nuisance to them.

Dr. Van Helsing-Money hungry doc. Seems to get great pleasure “sucking” your wallet dry.

Dr. Cyclopes-Arrogant, condescending, dismissive. Makes you feel really small.

Dr. Who-Sweet but absent-minded, has to familiarize themselves with your patient chart at EVERY visit.

Over the years my autoimmune thyroid disease has brought forth a myriad of symptoms and throughout my struggle I have encountered many of the aforementioned MD personalities. But, I’ve discerned in the latter years of my disease, that even though I may encounter a difficult doctor, I still should conduct myself as the same kind of patient.

It is important for me to:

**Understand that an MD is a human being, not God.

**Understand we live in a society with more environmental pollutants and undesirable food choices than ever before.

**Understand that with a wonky thyroid, our bodies may not be behaving the way it should both physically and mentally, and getting it to functional may take time, patience and research on my part. It is after all, my body.

**Understand that most MD’s practice medicine and “medicine” in most countries is considered what your respective government has deemed “safe and effective” to treat a disorder or disease.

**Understand that many MD’s are restricted from prescribing a certain medication to a patient per their government or the insurance company.

**Understand that I know better than anyone on the planet if something is wrong with me.

**Understand that a joint collaboration or partnership with my MD is how the relationship should be considered – not parent and child, strangers, or adversaries.

**Understand that getting healthy via nutrition, exercise and closely monitoring vitamin and mineral intake can take a long time.

Happy Thanksgiving my fellow thyroidians

Don'to forget to order my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy now so it will be here in time for Christmas or download my book now as it is available for your Ipad or Kindle.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

CHECK IT OUT

Hello fellow Thyroidians!

My lifelong dream was to write a book, and now, after a year working on a topic so close to me (and you) it is now a reality!

My book Wow your Mom Really is Crazy was released on October 17th, and is now available in hardback, paperback, and Kindle at this link: Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy


I really want to thank all of you who have purchased the book, and recommended it to others. I can't begin to tell you how thrilled (and humbled) I am by the response I have received thus far.

My goal in writing the book has always been to help others struggling with any autoimmune disease, and I encourage all the feedback you can give me.

Here are some of the comments I have received to date:

Maria said: Reading your book! Make me laugh and cry. You have totally described my experience with Graves. Thank you!

Aly said: I bought the Kindle version and started reading it... loved it so much after just a few chapters I went to Amazon and bought the paperback for my family! It's so difficult to educate ourselves and our family when most books about this disease are boring and dry. Thank you so much for writing a book people will actually enjoy reading about a subject that isn't so fun!

Michelle said: I LOVE your four Ps.

Helena said: I have to add, I finished the book last night! And yes, despite my lack of concentration I enjoyed it so much I stuck with it and the next thing I'd finished - so it must be good! I particularly related to the alcohol bit, which I've realised I have been doing more and more so it was amazing to get an answer to that as I realised that was exactly what I was doing. There were so many bits I was like, ooooh yes, that’s me too. I thought I was going crazy but after reading this feel like a new person and am much more relaxed about things! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Keep up the good work! :-)

Amy said: Started reading your book! Found myself laughing out loud because I can relate to many of your experiences. I can laugh now because now I know I am not going insane! A few years ago I was not so sure! Thanks for sharing your story!
Anonymous (from the UK) said: This IS the book for anyone suffering from autoimmune disorders. I laughed, cried, and really found myself connecting with the author... She does a great job of using blending humor with real life situations, and has plenty of what I found to be very useful tips. This is NOT a book just filled with data and boring medical jargon about thyroid and autoimmune information. This is a self- help book that journals the authors plight into a 10 year search for answers. The information is well documented, but it was the humor and personal touch I enjoyed most. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that has, or knows someone suffering from these types of illnesses. I was informed, motivated, inspired, and totally ENTERTAINED while reading this quickly paced book!

Gina said: Just got your book on my Kindle, literally 3 mins ago. So far, great job!!!!! I'm laughing and sympathizing with everything, I haven't laughed so hard in awhile GREAT WORK

New York Times said: Imaginative, Captivating, Brilliant…, tee hee Just Kidding (a girl can dream)

PS: I have my first interview with a local newspaper on Monday. Doing my best to spread thyroid disease awareness as best I can. Love you!

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Oh and PPS if you’ve read and liked the book please do me a fav and leave a review on Amazon. Reviews on Amazon are really really important. Thanks

THE EYES HAVE IT

William Shakespeare said, “The eyes are the window to the soul”…

If someone were to peak into my eyes, they would see a soul wearing boxing gloves punching the heck out of my thyroid disease.

I have spent many years trying to figure out this cryptic disease and its' devastating affects on so many body parts.

Remembering back to when I was first diagnosed, my doctor described the symptoms I could experience. Talking in her usual Speedy Gonzalez manner, her prognosis was difficult to follow, until she got to the part about my eyes…MY EYES???...did you say my eyes?

That was scary!

It's difficult to remain calm when there is a possibility of any eye deterioration, but we must do so because undue stress has no place in an autoimmunees life. Staying hyper vigilant (sans paranoia) is the best thing for us, when it comes to our bodies.

Eye problems can be common for those suffering from thyroid disease, other endocrine disorders or autoimmune diseases-such as Addison’s, Graves’, Sjogren’s syndrome and Diabetes…just to name a few.

Some common eye problems associated with the aforementioned afflictions are:

Dry Eyes–A decrease in tear production.

Eye Twitching–Twitching or spasms around the eyes.

Floaters–Small moving spots that appear in your field of vision.

Continuous eye watering–Primarily a symptom of hyperthyroidism.

Snow Vision–People see snow or television like static in parts or in their entire field of vision.

Blurry Vision–Lack of sharpness, inability to see fine detail.

Double Vision–Seeing two of everything.
Double Vision–Seeing two of everything.

(hahhahahaha, I couldn't resist)

Puffy eyes-Usually associated with hypothyroidism.

I know it can be a hassle, if you are like me thinking…”Ugh, I don’t feel like going to another doctor for incessant check-ups, but we have to keep kicking our illness' butt!

Now go my fellow thyroidians…put YOUR boxing gloves on and keep fighting!

The Crazy Thyroid Lady

AUTOIMMUNE OLYMPIADS

Well, the Olympics are over. Thank God! Now I can get some sleep. I was so sleep deprived. I could have won a gold medal in crankiness.

I am in awe when I see the super-human type feats executed by these athletes. And then, when I hear that some of these competitors have autoimmune diseases like me, it is astounding.

Diseased Olympiads…what an oxymoron.

But it just goes to show you, no one is immune to the auto-immune atrocities.

These athletes endure their body fighting itself, yet they practice multiple hours in a day. When I am on my third or fourth dream all snuggly in my bed, they are waking up before the sun comes up to begin their training. Just can’t wrap my mind around that…

Here are a few of those ailing athletes who competed at this year’s 2012 Olympics in London:

Tennis -Venus Williams–Sjogren’s syndrome (The body attacks moisture producing glands) Advanced to the third round of the London Olympics.

Kayaking –Carrie Johnson-Crohn’s disease (Inflammation of the digestive tract) Advanced to the semifinals.

Soccer (or women’s football)-Shannon Box-Lupus (The body attacks healthy tissues) Won Gold medal.

Track and Field-Sanya Richards-Ross-Behcet’s Syndrome (Vasculitis leading to ulcers particularly around the mouth, genitals and pupils) Two-time gold medal winner in London.

Track and Field, pole vaulting-Jenn Suhr-Celiac’s disease (hypersensitivity to gluten) Won gold medal.

All of them deserve the gold medal as far as I am concerned.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

READER'S RESPONSE

I love all the feedback I receive on my blog. We are family members and just like family we can disagree with one another. Last week, I received a response to a previous blog post about how this responder is tired of the “collective Endo and GP bashing” from thyroid autoimmune sufferers and that we all must learn how to deal with our autoimmune disease.

First I want to say, to whoever sent their anonymous opinion....“honey, you are preaching to the choir!” This subject matter is what my (soon to be released) book is all about. In the book, I have dedicated over a year to outlining the many alternate ways (without help from doctors) that I have coped with this disease... Simply put, we cannot solely rely on MD’s for our health! Only a very small percentage of our life is spent in a healthcare practitioner’s office, after that, it is up to us to handle our business. In fairness to health care practitioners, we shouldn’t expect them to know everything...


HOWEVER-


Having said this, I will not (as a thyroid advocate) stop placing some of the ownness on the medical community. It should not take multiple years to receive a diagnosis (which is commonplace for the average autoimmunee). MD’s who specialize in endocrinology, should authoritatively know the symptoms related to thyroid disease, and make every effort to address each of them. Most don’t do this. If an MD doesn't know...then ADMIT IT! Don’t be condescending, by telling them it is “just stress” or “all in your head”, basically just brushing off patients.

The dictionary’s definition of a doctor: A person trained in the healing arts.

Crazy Thyroid Lady’s definition: The script-giver.

Tee hee…that is harsh, just kidding…sort of.

As a thyroid advocate, I do want to encourage you to play a bigger role in your health. One way to do this is by getting your own blood work done. Blood work, you feel is necessary, yet your MD will not authorize... We should all have our hormone, vitamin, mineral and other levels tested on a regular basis as our thyroid deficient bodies don’t always want to function the way it should.

And since you guys are my brothers and sisters, I have asked a U.S. independent laboratory with over 1700 locations, offering more than 400 tests to help you in your quest for wellness, by giving you 5 % off on any lab work done through Personal Labs. In order to get the discount, you must use the Crazy Thyroid Lady code PLABSCTL

Visit this website Personal Labs


And don’t forget to use the code PLABSCTL

Crazy Thyroid Lady

CLEANING HOUSE

Since I’ve written a blog post about poop, I feel as though I can talk to you guys about anything. We are all family, right?

OK, so, I want to discuss with y’all a word that is even more vile and disgusting than poop. I cringe when I hear this word…the word is clean….AHHHHHHHH…UGGGHHHH!

This word and everything about it, has always been my arch nemesis… the albatross around my neck. The Great White Whale who has chomped off parts of my soul and taken it to depths so low that I am unsure it could ever be recovered?

I hated cleaning my house EVEN before my thyroid autoimmune disease; can you imagine how I feel about it now?

I have tried everything to make the process easier for me:

I’ve tried to mimic Luke Skywalker, by using “the force” to help clean my house…this method works to some extinct. My house is a sparkling show home, although, only in my imagination.

I’ve tried pretending there are little miniature parents on my shoulders yelling at me to clean. But then, I would yell back, get all stressed out and would end up running into my room crying.

I’ve tried twitching my nose like that blond chick on that 60’s and 70’s television show, but this caused me to go into a sneezing fit and then I would have to lie down.

I’ve tried to get my husband and son to do all the housework, by using hints, threats, whining, ultimatums, bribery, blackmail, coercion, flattery…oh and I did just come right out and ask once…but they see nothing wrong with our humble abode. They are perfectly OK with wallowing around in the pig sty. This does not make mamma happy and ordinarily they will try to do whatever it takes to keep mamma happy…except cleaning….well, this is where they draw the line.

Please HELP the Crazy Thyroid Lady!

Anyone have any helpful cleaning tips for this thyroid autoimmunee?

And don’t say “hire a maid” unless you are willing to donate to the Crazy Thyroid Lady cleaning fund...Tee hee

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A THYROID SUFFERER...

A day in the life of a thyroidian is so exciting!

James Bond 007 has nothing on us. I never know what the day will bring, what exciting adventures I will encounter. For example, it is unclear what will mysteriously make its way into my purse, what I may find in my closet or who I might accidentally send an email to.

Our lives are not boring, that’s for sure!

Here are a few examples of some of the exciting things that may happen to a person with thyroid disease...Now, for the record, I am not saying that any of these things happened to me…


Get on the third floor of an elevator, push the number 3 repeatedly and wonder why the elevator isn't moving…




Using the calculator function on the smart phone to make a phone call…




You can’t remember which toothbrush is yours or your significant other’s…



You buy back the same article of clothing you donated to Goodwill






For a thyroidian it takes longer than the average person to recite your address when asked…



CRAZY THYROID LADY

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

THE THYROID AND THE BRAIN

While doing some research for my book, I stumbled upon an interesting news story regarding thyroid disease. The article was about a murder trial and the defendant’s attorneys argued that a “mismanaged thyroid disease” led to her actions on that fateful day.

Intrigued, I sought after the court transcripts for this once high profile case. A thyroid expert, a psychiatrist traveled from Florida to a small little town in Indiana to testify. His credentials were a mile long.

I was awestruck by this man. His knowledge of thyroid disease was quite impressive. Even though I’m married, the temptation to purchase a plane ticket, go track this man down, fall on one knee and ask for his hand in marriage, was so immense. It is such a rarity to hear from someone with so much knowledge about the thyroid.

Here are some of the terms he used to describe thyroid symptoms that were unfamiliar to me, but his descriptions where oh so familiar:

Hyperthyroid Psychosis – Affects approximately five to ten percent of the U.S. population each year. Changes in a person’s mood occurs prior to psychosis, they feel nervous, jittery, shaky. They feel wound tight, dysphoric. They have a sense of dread, little things set them off and they become increasingly paranoid. The psychosis state varies from person to person. It depends on what is going on with them at the time and how well their nervous system is functioning. Primarily the presentation of hyperthyroid psychosis is either an agitated, manic or schizophrenic-like state. Thoughts are hard to control and reality is somewhat distorted.

Task Performance Impairment – A decreased attention span for those who are hypo or hyper-thyroid. They are easily distractible. They don’t always think clearly, they have trouble planning ahead. Complex tasks get compromised. Things that require sequential thinking is difficult.

Pronounced Stare-Because of the stimulation of the nervous system and changes in the way the eyelids come up, people have a very intense stare that almost looks like they’re boring a hole through you. In some cases, there’s tissue that accumulates behind the eye which causes the eyes to bug out of the head a little bit.

It is amazing to come across an MD who truly understands the intricacies of thyroid diseases. It also amazes me how thyroid disease can affect a person neurologically, yet, some health care professionals understand this and some do not. Every time I go to my Endo, I try to ask as many questions as I can (knowing I’m probably going to get a non-answer)…it is almost like a game, really.

One day I saw my Endo’s physician assistant, so I decided to ask her (thinking I may get a better answer from her), “Why do you think thyroid disease causes neurological dysfunction in some people?” She looked at me as if I had two heads. She had no idea what I was talking about. After a long pause, she answered my question by singling me out, as if I was the only one she had heard of with this issue. When I explained to her that I am not the only one struggling with cognitive deficiencies due to my thyroid disease, that there are in fact thousands of people frustrated because they are being treated for their thyroid disorders and yet they still don’t feel well both mentally and physically. She responded by saying, “Well the research just isn’t there.”

Hmmm, so it looks like I have to wait for a scientific study-plan to be formulated, tests to be done on animals, then the protocol to find humans to participate in case studies, schedule tests/procedures, years of scientific data collected, tabulated, presented and accepted. Ok, so I have to wait for that… and ya just can’t take my (the patient’s) word for it now?…That makes sense.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

YOU ARE FULL OF IT

This week’s picture has nothing to do with the blog. I figured if I put up a picture of what my blog is about…y’all probably would not read it.

I want to talk about something that no one wants to talk about…wait a minute… Dr. Oz talks about it…OK, I want to talk about something the Crazy Thyroid Lady and Dr. Oz only talks about. Poop, ca-ca, feces, doo-doo, boo-boo, pooh, jobby, fudge brownie…and the term most of us we were taught when we were just wee kiddos…number two!

I am not ashamed to talk about it and you shouldn’t either. We all do it and it all stinks -some more than others, I’m sure.

It is something us thyroidians should keep an eye on. Diarrhea usually signifies hyperthyroidism and constipation typically means one is hypothyroid. Either condition is crappy.

Chronic diarrhea can cause – Dehydration, electrolyte imbalance and mal-nutrition.

Chronic constipation may cause-Hemorrhoids, Fecal Impaction and rectal prolapse.

Those symptoms could become serious, all the more reason to hound that health care professional of yours to go by how you feel and what’s going on with your body rather than by your lab numbers.

The link below is a turd tutorial from Dr. Oz about poop consistency and color:

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/poop-primer

Don’t be ashamed to talk crap anymore, if you have concerns about any chronic irregularities with your bowel movements make sure your health care professional is aware.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL EDITION

Happy Mother’s day! My hats off to any mom who suffers from a thyroid condition or any chronic illness.

In honor of you, I dedicate this blog. However, it's technically not just for the mommies with illnesses…No, this blog is also for those who have the awesome responsibility to make this a special day for you….Therefore, if you happen to print this blog off and strategically place it where it could be found…say…like… taped to one of the television remote controls…it might definitely be a win, win for everyone.

Top five things a mom with a chronic disease would want for Mother’s day –

5. Spa day/Massage-Chronic disease sufferers can have joint pain from head to toe, so this gift would be wonderful as well as therapeutic. Ahhhhh…Oh OK, where was I…

4. Leave mom alone for the day-Give her one day to herself. Let her have the house! If that's not possible, at least give her a room-to read, watch TV, stare at the wall…whatever.

3. Cook her favorite meal and deliver it to her in bed-Allow mom to rest her sore, tired feet. If she doesn’t trust you in her kitchen, then grab an awesome meal to go, from her favorite restaurant and bring it to her. Whichever idea you chose, don’t forget to clean up the mess!

2. Comfort, comfort, comfort-If you have a wife/mother who would rather “open” something when receiving a gift, then for her, I would go comfortable, like soft jammies or slippers. The more comfy the better.

1. Clean something you know she hates to do-Or something that may be difficult on her body, like scrubbing toilets, bathtubs, windows, mopping floors…,etc…

Having a chronic illness and being mom at the same time is very difficult. You are my hero and you deserve all five of those aforementioned gifts, plus much more. But, as a mom, I am sure you would agree that your baby (s) big or small, is truly the best and most rewarding gift of all.

The Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

THYROID ARMY

Those of you who know me, know I have a vivid imagination, reminiscent of a five-year old… Those little kiddos with their hazy looks, staring off into space are undoubtedly sailing around the world on a pirate ship, or swinging from tree to tree in the jungle like Tarzan.

Hmmmm, I guess the part of the brain that suppresses childlike-imagination when one gets older, never happened to me. As an adult, it is nothing for me to travel off into outer space, battling space alien zombies while sitting at an important board meeting with my grown-up colleagues. Anything can trigger it…then I’m gone...

On this particular occasion, my daydream episode started with a request I received on my facebook page (Thyroid News-Updates from the Crazy Thyroid Lady). The request was to post a link to a website with information about a petition for us thyroidians to electronically sign for better thyroid treatment, and the petition will be sent to the following groups:

International Society of Endocrinology
Society for Endocrinology
American Thyroid Association
American Board of Internal Medicine

While reading the message about the petition during a meeting at work, I had to contain my enthusiasm by pretending I received an important “work related" text message. (You know you read twitter and facebook messages or play games during meetings too, stop judging)

I got all pumped up and promptly told my facebook friend, I would post it on my facebook page, twitter, and blog.

I thought...It is quite sad we must do these types of things to fight to feel better!

Uh oh, the word “FIGHT” was the trigger this time...

I began to imagine me fighting with others in a thyroid army.

An army of us thyroid sufferers were sleeping in our barracks when the sergeant came in for the 5:00 am reveille. The bugling ended abruptly, however, when one of my fellow thyroid soldiers threatened to shove the bugle down the sergeant’s throat if he did not come back at noon. After waking up at the crack of noon, we solders got ready for weapon’s training…only…um we weren’t allowed any real weapons (If you have thyroid disease, you pretty much know why). Instead we were trained on how to use our beady-eyed intimidating stares as weapons.

In the thyroid army, in lieu of tight fitting fatigues, we wear camouflaged moo moos and comfortable slippers. We aren’t required to know Morse code, because thyroid sufferers could possibly forget how to communicate in this way. Lord only knows how those messages would turn out. Oh and booby traps or enemy mines are out of the question, as we would ultimately forget where they were and…well…

Eeeek, this daydream is becoming too scary! So glad we don’t have to fight in an actual war, even though I am sure some of your doctor’s appointments have felt like major combat.

Alternatively, there are other ways to fight for better thyroid care. For more information about the petition.
Please go to:

https://www.change.org/petitions/board-certified-endocrinologists-should-be-proficient-in-and-mandated-to-be-current-on-thyroid-disorders-treatment

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

THYROID TeeTeeR ToTTer

I’ve swayed back and forth on the thyroid see-saw, for many many years now. Hyper/Hypo/Hyper/Hypo…Shooo, I’m dizzy! But, one good thing has come out of this recreation; I am sooo in tune with my body.

For example:

FOOD

Hypo-Don’t have much of an appetite, during this time. Digesting food is a sloowwww process! I believe Thanksgiving’s turkey dinner is still in there (sorry, that was gross). This is what’s frustrating about hypo, you are eating the least amount of food in a group setting, yet may be the only one who will visibly wear those calories in a day or two.

Hyper-Can’t seem to get enough to eat. I try to stay away from the grocery stores during this time. I want sugar, sugar and more sugar. I supremely crave a Dairy Queen Waffle bowl, (dipped in chocolate) ice cream sundae. What is crazy is that ordinarily, I don’t care for ice cream much. I seriously can’t have sugar near me, or else it is just not a fair fight.

SKIN

Hyper-My nails begin growing out of control. This is usually the first thing I notice when I am getting to much thyroid medication because I type on a keyboard for a living. Clickety-clacking nails on a keyboard are worse than nails on a chalkboard in my opinion. My skin is as smooth as a baby, this is one big plus for hyper.

Hypo-Skin becomes sandpaper-like. I can douse my skin in baby oil, yet, still take off a layer of paint with my forearm.

EYES

Hyper-Watery eyes and snow vision (snow vision is - visual symptom where people see snow or television-like static in parts or the whole of their visual fields, especially against dark backgrounds. It is much like camera noise in low light conditions). My eyes also look like I am on crack-cocaine-very wide eyed.

Hypo–Eyes are fine, but just a little dry.

NEURO

Hyper–Bad mood, irritable, jump sky high in the air if someone comes up behind me. My nerves are shot. No patience. Caustic tongue.

Hypo-Much more pleasant to be around. Don’t have the caustic speech because my brain cannot think fast enough to keep up with most conversations.

**Too Hyper–Weepy, hateful and just a monster that the Boogey man would be afraid to pal around with.

**Too Hypo–Apathy. Don’t care much for anything really. Beyond depression. The actual Boogey man could jump out from my closet with a hatchet and I probably would not blink.

OTHER

Hyper-Constant foot tapping, Fatigue, joint pain, muscle weakness.
Hypo-Fatigue, forgetfulness

Consequently, the next time I visit my Endo, GP, Gyno, Cardio, Chiro, Ortho, ENT and Ophthalmologist with any new concerns. I will tell them to please understand something, don’t dismiss me because...

I KNOW MY BODY!

I want to hear from you! What have you noticed when you seem to be getting too much or not enough thyroid hormone?

Crazy Thyroid Lady

MORE THYROETRY- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

It is almost the New Year

Thanks so much for having me here

On your computer each week with my blog

About the thyroid…a snippet, a prologue

To the book I am writing for 2012

Coming soon to your E-book shelf

I hope you will like what you read

From the Wild and Crazy Thyroid Lady

Here is a sneak peek at my book intro - Part 1...Look for Part 2 next week

Intro

It is estimated that 50 million Americans suffer from an autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, Crohn’s, lupus, etc., (aarda.org, 2011). Fifty million is roughly equivalent to the combined populations of California and Texas! Nearly 12 million Americans have a thyroid disease, Hashimoto, Graves, hypercalcemia, cancer, etc., (Harvard, 2011). I have both a thyroid and autoimmune disease. This is my journey from sanity to psychosis and now at comfortably crazy.

We moved into an upper-middle class neighborhood, filled with stay-at-home moms, green lawns, mischievous children and white-collar dads in their loosened ties. I was never really the kind of person to put on airs, but in this neighborhood, I tried to be a little more reserved. Upgrading from an apartment, to a tiny starter home, to our new place became essential. We had to keep moving into bigger dwellings because my son’s toys were taking over, his stuffed animals alone could populate the jungles of Africa. As we continued to expand, our living space wasn’t the only thing getting bigger: my physical and mental problems were as well.

As with most who suffer from thyroid autoimmune diseases, it can take an average of ten years with various ailments before finally achieving the correct diagnosis. This is because these kinds of diseases bring about many mental and physical conditions, finding it difficult to diagnose. It was during this time of figuring out what was wrong with me that I evolved into a Looney Tunes character, but kept everything behind closed doors of course. My neighbors had no idea. It was like “sucking in my gut” so to speak to the outside world, then letting it all hang out to my husband and son, Lucky them!

So there I was in my big-girl house with my big-girl mortgage trying to appear like I just another suburbanite. I spent time flowering, manicuring, hedging, trimming and watering; yard work is truly a full-time job, especially if perfection is the goal. Other pretentious residential activities included, tossing the ball with the neighborhood kiddos (including the brats) at the appropriate time of day: one half-hour before dinner or an hour after dinner. Waving, smiling those pearly whites to folks I most certainly could not pick out of a criminal line-up if my life depended on it.

“Oh, that’s one of my neighbors…really, are you sure officer?”


***

It was a gorgeous day in the neighborhood, opulent sunshine with the perfect amount of wind. I had all the windows open so I could feel the warm breeze coming into my house, an absolute idyllic Spring Cleaning day. I had achieved perfection on the outside of my home, it was time to clean the inside. The front door lay open to let the warm rays in, though the screen door remained closed to keep the bugs out. While diligently dusting the furniture, I heard his little voice say:


....TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK

DON'T FORGET JANUARY IS THYROID DISEASE AWARENESS MONTH, PLEASE FILL OUT THE SURVEY, CLICK ON ONE OF THE THE LINKS IN THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OF THIS PAGE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE YA

FROM THE CRAZY THYROID LADY!

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH, SICK AND FAMOUS

Many of my thyroid suffering brothers and sisters have shared with the Crazy Thyroid Lady through e-mail, twitter and facebook how much they appreciate this blog because it helps them see that they are not alone.

YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT ALONE!!

In fact, even the rich and famous are not immune to this wretched illness.

Some of those celebrity sufferers include:

Rod Stewart - Thyroid cancer
Sofia Vergara – Thyroid cancer
Nia Vardalos - Hashimoto’s thyroiditis
Kelly Osbourne - Hyperthyroidism
Catherine Bell – Thyroid Cancer
Kim Catrell - Hashimoto’s disease
Missy Elliott – Graves disease
Kim Alexis - Hashimoto's disease
Joe Piscapo – Thyroid Cancer
Gail Devers – Graves Disease
Jillian Michaels - Hypothyroidism
Mary Louise Parker – Hypothyroidism

And let us not forget, her highness, Oprah…yes that’s right Oprah! It seems money can’t protect someone from contracting thyroid disease…That tiny gland can even betray billionaires! Truth be told, some of Oprah’s rants about her thyroid disorder may have contributed to mainstream misconceptions about the disease. Oprah has made this disease all about “weight”.

Oh God, how I wish weight issues were the only thing associated with thyroid disease. Just dealing with THAT issue alone would be easy.

As I was Googling the aforementioned celebrities for this blog, I noticed many of them, also said they were primarily concerned about their weight.

Hmmm…so this got me to thinking…Perhaps the thyroid-ailing rich and famous (we all know their lifestyles do not equal the common man) have ONLY weight issues when battling thyroid disease??…Maybe they have doctors, nutritionists, herbalists, personal chefs, acupuncturists and leprechauns all working around the clock to control those other pesky symptoms.

And don’t get me started with the rich and famous who have political power. After George Herbert Walker Bush, the 41st president of the United States, and his wife Barbara Bush became ill with an autoimmune thyroid disease while living in the White House a team of Secret Service agents tested their water at the various homes of which the then President resides, immediately following their diagnosis.

Immediately following my diagnosis a team of my family members tested my nerves by constantly asking me, “Hey mom, what’s for dinner?”

Then…BAM…Guess what Oprah? I received one of your AH, HA moments! The common everyday thyroid-diseased person MUST become rich and famous to receive adequate care! I guess one is not immune if they are rich…just thinner, with fewer symptoms…Yea!!

OK, so let’s get started guys...Ummm is there a book called “Become Rich and Famous for Dummies”?

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

I CAN HANDLE DA TRUTH!

Oh my goodness, I am in shock right now, just left my endocrinologist’s office. I had to race to my car and compose my blog RIGHT NOW!

I know I know I promised funny MD stories. However, right now I have just one MD story worth telling!

Let me preface by giving you an account of the relationship I have/had with my endocrinologist:

1. First date
2. Swept me off my feet with hope for a bright future
3. Marriage
4. Separation
5. Divorce
6. Argument
7. Settlement
8. Reconciliation

Reconciliation came after our tumultuous patient/MD relationship spanning almost five years.

This is truly a joyous occasion because when I divorced her, I am sure she stayed up many nights thinking about “that one patient who got away”. I showed her didn’t I?!!!!

But then, out of the kindness of my heart, I decided to give her one more chance. It’s just not good to hold grudges…Plus, ummm… I’m kind of cheap and the “rebound” MD did not bill insurance companies. His patients had to pay out of pocket…PLUS he was an hour away from my house.


I originally divorced my doc because she and I differed on my thyroid treatment plan.

On today’s visit, I told her what I needed and an argument ensued. It wasn’t Muhammad Ali vs. Joe Frazier, but, our voices resonated I’m sure. She finally agreed to do things my way (which is not all that medically unconventional …trust me!) Arrogance, rigidity and lawsuits get in the way of doing what’s best for the individual patient sometimes.

Anyway, THAT’S NOT THE EXCITING PART OF THIS STORY!!!

I finally heard these words from my MD:

“Look Carol, the only thing I am doing is treating your hypothyroidism. You are now hypothyroid because the radiation procedure I recommended you having years ago was given to in essence ‘kill’ your thyroid. I cannot not treat your autoimmune disease, because we currently do not have a cure. She went onto say, “For whatever reason, your body has a hard time adjusting to thyroid hormone replacement medications.”

These are the words I’ve wanted to hear since day one, for as she spoke those words to me all I heard was: I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING, BUT I AM TRYING! This is all I’ve ever wanted to hear...Doc! Now, she and I can work collaboratively, feeling our way through the dark towards a common goal. Instead of me getting frustrated with her, thinking she is supposed to give me all the answers…she doesn’t know, she is after all…”practicing” medicine.


I feel so empowered now, akin to when I was a little girl and realized teachers were regular human beings; not some sort of deity. Professionals put one pant leg on at a time; they also have bad days, don’t have all the answers and on occasion are wrong.

Please pray that our wedded reunion will remain blissful. Besides, I can’t afford the other doctor. Who knows, with the extra money I’m saving maybe I can launch my clothing line for the “Chronically Ill.”





Next Week – No promises, because there is no tellin’ what the Crazy Thyroid Lady will get herself into!

I WONDER IF DOROTHY COULD HAVE WEATHERED THIS STORM?

I interrupt this program to give you UGH…Auntie Em’ Auntie ‘Em. I don’t think I feel well anymore. A storm is a brewin’

I was all set to give you some of my funny MD office visit stories but a thyroid storm rolled through. Not a biggie just a tiny one. Not an ER-visit one…THANK GOD! I’ve already had two of those this year…one visit in particular, turned from an innocent trip to the “doc in the box” (Immediate Care) to the doc not liking my heart rhythm so she had an ambulance come take me to the hospital. HOW EMBARRASSING!!

What made the experience even worse is that the MD was foreign and when she called 911, dispatch thought she said 4-year old in cardiac arrest – instead of 40-year old. About eight big, burly paramedics and firemen came running in only to be disappointed…it was just little ole me. Boy, they were pissed! Then as they wheeled me out on the stretcher it took all I had NOT to be the jokester that I am (cuz after all I am crazy) and give all gawkers the “two thumbs up” signal. I had plenty of rubber neckers too because the location of this Immediate Care was situated right next to a Dairy Queen on a bright, hot, sunny, Friday evening.

Sigh, the life of a thyroid sufferer. It’s not boring that’s for sure!

One minute. You feel good, possibly…if you are lucky… even great and then the next day …BAM This sick feeling can come over you which could last anywhere from one day to three months. Stress IS THE MAIN CULPRIT for me and I am not talkin stub my pinkie toe stress either.

For those who don’t know the feeling, but have a loved one going through this… A Thyroid Storm usually includes:



Rapid Heart Rate - No, The thyroid sufferer doesn’t hate you. A racing heart makes him or her very irritable.

Nausea and Vomiting – No, the thyroid sufferer does not have an eating disorder (although their weight may fluctuate drastically at times) – he or she is just sick!

Tremors – No, the thyroid sufferer is not a drunk. He or she is shaking because of the abnormal thyroid hormone levels.

Extreme Fatigue – No, the thyroid sufferer is not lazy. He or she spent all their energy getting up, getting dressed and going to work. That is about all that is left in the tank!

Other symptoms can include: irregular heart rate, diarrhea, weakness, confusion/disorientation, fever and dehydration. Storms can be deadly, so take care!

This is about all I can write. Hopefully I will be back to my normal next week. Love you my brothers and sisters! We are in a Thyroid DYSFUNCTIONal family but I still love ya!


Until next week…I need to do what I do best in this condition….zzzzzzzzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZZZ!

Clothing Line For the Chronically Ill...How 'Bout It?

Quite frankly, on occasion, the thyroid sufferer feels like they’ve been hit by a Mack Truck!

For me, when I am feeling like “road kill” being a fashionista is the last thing on my mind. Getting dressed for work in the morning, I am thinking comfort…and in the fashion world…comfy clothing usually means ugly.

A thyroid disease is an invisible illness that few people know how fatigued you are, or how bad your joints ache. They only see you are dressed like a hot mess (don’t want to generalize, this is my situation…If you feel like crap but are in vogue…go ahead with your bad self, and tell me your secret.)

I would love to look HOT and stylish, BUT, more importantly, I want comfort! Therefore, I am reaching out (pleading) to Calvin, Prada, Chanel, Yves or Tommy… Please give us something comfortable that looks good!

This is what I want:

Clothes

New York’s fashion week occurred several weeks ago, I did not see any outfits for the chronically sick. Ummm…Hello…there are only a gazillion of us in the world! I saw tight-tailored outfits …no loose fitting stuff. I need loose fitting to cater to my crazy weight fluctuations. I need clothing that breathes no spandex please. Hmmm…let me think of an example… You know the outfit you receive when you go to the hospital, like say …before surgery?? What’s it called…oh yeah, a surgical gown. That’s what I want! I want this new clothing line to be called Pre-Op or Post-Op - I’m not picky, whatever rolls off society’s tongue. Would love to see different sizes, shapes, colors, and fabrics...except for maybe burlap, looking like a serf from the dark ages would not be attractive. Oh and don’t worry about not wanting anyone to see your hiney…the Pre-Op “everyday clothing line” will have you covered!








Shoes

My television addiction is The Real Housewives reality shows. Beverly Hills, OC, New Jersey, etc., and I see these women (especially the California gals) walking in Jimmy Choo or Gucci stiletto’s. I give these ladies the same bug-eyed glare and amazement; I would give to circus clowns. I mean stilts are stilts right?? They equally get my admiration! Thyroid gals or guys…I am not discriminating or judging - typically cannot wear this piece of equipment. However, if you are, again, let me know how you are pulling it off. Cuz if I placed those suckers on my feet, I would be in the ER within minutes having them surgically removed. Too much or too little thyroid hormone for me equates to my feet looking like Fred Flintstone by the end of a work day. This thyroid suffering gal‘s choice of footwear must make me feel like I am walking on clouds…not 20 inches above them. Again, it’s all about comfort, which is why you will usually catch me in my slippers. That’s right, when my feet have become Flintstoned; I can be seen wearing slippers at the grocery store, work, heck… anywhere!








Ahhhh…just imagine a clothing line called “Pre-Op”…Here is the commercial tagline:

Long hard day at the office? Just want to go home and relax or go to bed, but you are too tired to get undressed? Now, with the new Pre-Op line, you don’t have to…just climb into bed with whatever you were wearing that day!


Next week’s blog – Corporate BUZZ words – I am convinced they are used to torture thyroid sufferers!

...MAYBE YOU'RE A HYPOCHONDRIAC?

I have been called a hypochondriac by acquaintances, family members, co-workers and friends…like…OMG abazillion times!!! I’ve also heard “Are you sure it is not all in your head, or could it be psychosomatic??

Often times, these are people who barely know me or family members with whom I am not very close. But those who are very close to me and have said this…it really hurts.


After ten years of hearing these folks “ diagnose” me, I FINALLY received a clinical one –An autoimmune disease affecting my thyroid, I wanted to go back to all those people and say SEE…HAHAHA…I TOLD YOU SO!!...YEA!!...oh…umm…wait a minute!?


Anyway, I am not sure why folks are so quick to call a person a freaking Looney Tunes instead of believing there is really something physically wrong with them.

Society loves to SMACK extreme labels on people and it is usually a severe mental health disorder…have you noticed this?? For example:


Someone who:

…Is moody has Dissociated Identity Disorder
…Is the life of the party… is an Alcoholic
…Falls asleep while watching TV is a Narcoleptic
…Is skinny has Anorexia Nervosa
…Frowns has clinical depression
…Frowns on a cloudy day has Seasonal Affective Disorder
…Has a chronic illnesses (diagnosed or undiagnosed) is a Hypochondriac.

Soooooo ridiculous!!!

Do we throw these “buzz” medical terms around just because we can? Just because we’ve heard of them? This reminds me of a small child blurting out an offensive four-lettered word for the first time. The little tot (hopefully) has no idea what they are saying or the meaning behind the word. They just repeat what they’ve heard.

If you look up these terms hypochondriac, dissociated identity disorder, anorexia, etc., they are REAL disorders, but because of their severity, I am pretty sure quick glances and conversations should not bring about a clinical determination. I wouldn’t even want an MD to do this!

If I’ve really got something…test me, poke, me, prod me (the doctor)...not my acquaintances, family members, co-workers, etc.

Also, if a person wants to give THEMSELVES an extreme diagnosis label…that is OK they have the right. If I want to call myself fat, I can. No one else should! (Hubby are you reading this??…You cannot call me FAT!)

Be sensitive to others…think before you give someone your “medical” opinion.

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy