Dawn of a Different Dead





Resident Evil, 28 Days later, The Crazies…these were considered “fiction” movies. But, I know the real story. You see, my friends… zombies are real and they are all around us. They drive, shop, work and operate heavy machinery. They are your everyday average thyroid sufferers.


Real- life zombies 101 – Unlike most zombie movies there are two different types of these horrific creatures – Treated and Untreated.


Medically Treated – These zombies appear when they forget to take their medicine, have extremely high stress levels or heck… with thyroid disease you seriously don’t know when this creature will emerge. Doctors don’t know either. For me, I have honed in on my inner zombie, I call her Zenith and she comes out when it is that time of the month, the aftermath of stress, a drastic diet change or an infection. You can talk to Zenith but she may travel far off into some other time zone, without even moving a muscle. Zenith drives to work but she can’t remember how she got there. Zenith is thinking, “Good morning,” but she may not verbalize it, she may grunt at you instead. Coffee, Red Bull or 5-Hour Energy do not work for Zenith. Zenith just wants to eat flesh (dinner) and go to bed.


Medically Un-treated (Doctors can’t figure out what the heck is wrong with you, despite your pleas for help) – These zombies are scary and resemble what is depicted in the movies. I would stay away from these zombies -between MD’s telling them they are crazy and the daily horrors of thyroid disease they are liable to bite your head off. When I went approximately ten years untreated my inner zombie was the nastiest creature east of the Mississippi. She would snarl, bark and bite. She had bruises all over her body because she ran into walls a lot from clumsiness and poor eyesight. You could find her wandering around in the Wal-Mart parking lot for long periods of time trying to figure out what kind of car she drove there.

Unfortunately, both types walk among us. Zombies are..er...um people too, so give them love and don’t take it personally when they may look through you instead of at you.

ZENITH’S TOP 5 ZOMBIE –LIKE MOMENTS (Treated or untreated)

5. Walking around the grocery store for about an hour not realizing why I came there in the first place.

4. Going with my husband (of nearly 20 years) to a family get together and not remembering half of the names of the people there. I was in my 30’s at the time. (My MD thought it was a good idea to take me off my thyroid medication for six weeks.)

3. Going through an entire week and not being able to recollect what I did during the week. Where I drove, who I talked to, what I did at work, what I cooked for dinner, conversations…etc., This is a serious situation and was pre-diagnosis (THANK GOD!)

2. Sitting at my desk at work for 8 hours…yes that’s right 8 hours doing pretty much nothing but stare at the cubicle, then the computer, then back to the cubicle.


AND THE NUMBER ONE ZOMBIE LIKE MOMENT…DRUM ROLL PLEASE…

1. I signed my son’s permission slip that it was OK for him to keep the classroom “pet rat” after his class was done with their little experiment. So yes, he brought a RAT home because his mommy said it was OK.




What eludes me is how so many MD’s do not understand how a thyroid disorder can wreak this much havoc. The thyroid is bosom buddies with the pituitary gland (in the brain). They are close co-workers. Sooooo doesn’t it make sense one would have mental issues associated with thyroid disease???


Please leave a comment and tell me your number ONE zombie moment…hopefully docs will read this!


Next week’s blog – Hypochondria….hahahahaha, if you are a thyroid disease sufferer, reading that word just ticked you off…hahahahaha…calm down