ANY INFO WOULD BE APPRECIATED

What’s up thyroid fam? I am biting my nails as my new book ("Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy") is under editorial review with my publisher. To keep my sanity (what’s left of it) as this proccess plays out, I’ve started on my second book "Sentenced for Sickness, 215 Years, the Judy Kirby Story". If you are not familiar with Judy Kirby's story, please see these articles:


INDY STAR ARTICLE -http://www2.indystar.com/library/factfiles/accidents/2000/Ind67/wrongway.html

MARY SHOMAN'S ARTICLE - http://thyroid.about.com/library/weekly/aa042401a.htm


I am asking for help. If any of my blog readers know anything about this case, please email me at judykirbyinfo@gmail.com or write to me at P.O. Box 703 Fishers, IN 46038.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Crazy Thyroid Lady.

GIVE SOME THYROID LOVE AND SUPPORT

Hello Family,

As Thyroid Awareness month draws to a close. I want to thank those who participated in the Crazy Thyroid Lady Survey…thanks so much. If you haven’t filled out the brief survey please do so before it ends on January 31st. (Survey links are on the top right corner of this page)

Also, I want to encourage everyone to support each other. Thyroid disease is very difficult. Give a fellow thyroid sufferer a hug, (real or cyber) tell him/her it will be OK. Support thyroid blogs, become facebook and twitter pals. We are all in this together and I know we can make a difference!

THYROID BLOGS

http://thyroid.blogspot.com/
http://hypoman-lifetherapy.blogspot.com/
http://sjccfthynet.blogspot.com/
http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/blog/
http://thyroid-hope.blogspot.com/
http://thyroidplague.blogspot.com/
http://hypothyroidathleteskitchen.blogspot.com/

THYROID WEBSITES

http://outsmartdisease.com/
http://dearthyroid.org/
http://www.sjccfthynet.org/
http://thyroid.about.com/
http://gdcoffeebreak.weebly.com/
http://eyesee.typepad.com/
www.crazythyroidlady.com (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

If I missed a website or blog let me know.

Thanks

BE STRONG

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Blood Work - Mission Impossible

Have you ever noticed when getting blood drawn at a lab or a doctor’s office, the entire process is like a Tom Cruise/Mission Impossible-type event? What is the reason for the serious stealth?

Here is how it goes…

Already knowing what lies ahead, timidly you arrive. They usher you into a room, where you must rest into a deceitful seat reminiscent of an amusement park ride. Next, the bloodletting bandit, with an interrogative tone, confirms your date of birth and name, which you must spell out for them.

Then, they are all like, “Put your eyes in this retinal scanner”… Just kidding--I always wanted to use a retinal scanner; they really should use a retinal scanner…WHY AREN’T THEY USING RETINAL SCANNERS!!

Anyway, the “technician” sticks the long, sharp blade in your arm expelling those pumping platelets keeping you alive.

Afterwards, they place your precious life force in those cheap fifty cent vials. The number of vials needed depends on the amount of codes marked by the doctor on that top secret, cryptic, lab request form.

Meanwhile, CIA operatives in Langley, Virginia are the recipients of your blood and the clandestine lab order with those codes. These codes can only be deciphered after many years of operative training. They must know ICD-9 codes, diagnosis codes, CPT codes, Morse code and all the Xbox 360 cheat codes. At least this is what I believe, because when I view my own lab order, I haven’t a clue-- am I being tested for my thyroid disorder or to somehow help me with Call of Duty?

The key part of this whole covert operation is when it’s over; you are then given a band-aid, which contains a fluid that seeps subcutaneously causing the reluctant donor to become passive. This passive state is needed for a very important purpose. Why? Because the reason you went to get blood drawn in the first place was because, you were experiencing the following:

Chronic fatigue, migraines, moodiness, anxiety, depression, excessive weight gain, hair loss, blurred vision, joint pain and brain fog…UGH!! This is no way to live!

But, when you call for your results a nurse comes on and says, “Oh yes, let me get your chart,” she comes back on the phone and states quickly, without hesitation …”Everything is normal.” At that moment the passive poison kicks in and you say simply, “OK”…Click, you both hang up.

It is your chronic suffering that brought you to the doctor in the first place. They take your blood, from your arm, it is your results, so for the life of me, I can’t understand the secrecy. Unknown answers filed away in your elusive “chart.” And what about that nurse who gave you your normal blood results, then dismisses you like an insubordinate employee. “Ummm, what about my current symptoms, did you think I was making it up.” It does not seem to matter to them though…as long as “Mission Is Accomplished!”

Crazy Thyroid Lady's Book Intro Part Two

“Mom, mom.”

“What honey?”

“Can me and Zach get some ice cream from the ice cream man?”

“I don’t have any money, babe.”

“I do, mom.”

Of course you do, you always have money, more than me, I thought. I walked to his room to get his piggy bank, mainly filled with green than metal. While walking back to the screen door, I noticed both little boys were looking so enthusiastic. You could just see it in their eyes, both visualizing the tasty ice cream treat, which will soon be a melting mess for me to clean up later. In an instant, I realized, playing a prank on them was an opportunity I could not pass up. Approaching the screen door, clutching the giant pink pig in my hands.

I roared:

“Muuwaahhhhh, you think you boys are getting some ice cream? (Gnashing my teeth, trying to do my best Peter Lorre impression) No way, the money’s all mine, all mine I tell you! Muwaaahhhh.”

The eerie crinkling noise produced by my lemony Pledge-filled hands was perhaps a little too theatrical for someone else’s child. My son was used to my behavior, but Zach’s mouth dropped to the ground. Tyler stared at his mother with no interest…both were just cute as buttons. Even though, there was a screen door between me and Zach, he still looked terrified. He looked at me with this perplexing, yet frightened gaze, then looked over at Tyler and said:

“Wow, Tyler you were right, your mom really is crazy!”

When Zach said this, I immediately started laughing hysterically, that this little guy was afraid of his best friend’s mommy? Then laughter promptly shifted to panic. Suddenly, a quick glimpse into my future of everyone knowing the real me was a scary notion. You see, the hard work and dedication Zach’s mom puts forth into her gossip telling is unlike anything I have ever seen. My crazy paranoia (this time) was valid. I firmly believe she has a secret passage way behind her washer and dryer. This is where she clandestinely slips into her secret underground bunker sending out gossip via Morse code. This “news” is then distributed throughout the neighborhood, surrounding counties, the state, the country and parts of Europe, all before sundown. The message will say: There is a crazy woman living at 725 Meadow Lake Drive in Carmel, IN. I will be outed, the jig is up.

“Oh well,” I thought to myself, “I might as well face the music.” The transition from laughter, to panic, soon gave way to relief. One of the best things about being crazy: a massive emotional shift can happen in seconds. Little known fact - when a dramatic actor in a movie instantaneously goes from laughing deliriously to crying, they are portraying someone with a thyroid disease.

After being outed, from that moment forward our yard was…well, let’s just say, we would certainly lose the Best Kept Yard award. My fake smiles ended and instead of playing ball with the brats, they received snarls. Looking back on it all, it was silly to hide my true self… but, when you are sick and you don’t know you are sick, you try to act well, Conversely, when you are sick and you know you are sick, you say, “What the hell.”


Thanks for reading my entire intro - I hope to have this Crazy book out sometime in 2012

Love ya - Don't forget to fill out the survey!

Crazy Thyroid Lady

MORE THYROETRY- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

It is almost the New Year

Thanks so much for having me here

On your computer each week with my blog

About the thyroid…a snippet, a prologue

To the book I am writing for 2012

Coming soon to your E-book shelf

I hope you will like what you read

From the Wild and Crazy Thyroid Lady

Here is a sneak peek at my book intro - Part 1...Look for Part 2 next week

Intro

It is estimated that 50 million Americans suffer from an autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, Crohn’s, lupus, etc., (aarda.org, 2011). Fifty million is roughly equivalent to the combined populations of California and Texas! Nearly 12 million Americans have a thyroid disease, Hashimoto, Graves, hypercalcemia, cancer, etc., (Harvard, 2011). I have both a thyroid and autoimmune disease. This is my journey from sanity to psychosis and now at comfortably crazy.

We moved into an upper-middle class neighborhood, filled with stay-at-home moms, green lawns, mischievous children and white-collar dads in their loosened ties. I was never really the kind of person to put on airs, but in this neighborhood, I tried to be a little more reserved. Upgrading from an apartment, to a tiny starter home, to our new place became essential. We had to keep moving into bigger dwellings because my son’s toys were taking over, his stuffed animals alone could populate the jungles of Africa. As we continued to expand, our living space wasn’t the only thing getting bigger: my physical and mental problems were as well.

As with most who suffer from thyroid autoimmune diseases, it can take an average of ten years with various ailments before finally achieving the correct diagnosis. This is because these kinds of diseases bring about many mental and physical conditions, finding it difficult to diagnose. It was during this time of figuring out what was wrong with me that I evolved into a Looney Tunes character, but kept everything behind closed doors of course. My neighbors had no idea. It was like “sucking in my gut” so to speak to the outside world, then letting it all hang out to my husband and son, Lucky them!

So there I was in my big-girl house with my big-girl mortgage trying to appear like I just another suburbanite. I spent time flowering, manicuring, hedging, trimming and watering; yard work is truly a full-time job, especially if perfection is the goal. Other pretentious residential activities included, tossing the ball with the neighborhood kiddos (including the brats) at the appropriate time of day: one half-hour before dinner or an hour after dinner. Waving, smiling those pearly whites to folks I most certainly could not pick out of a criminal line-up if my life depended on it.

“Oh, that’s one of my neighbors…really, are you sure officer?”


***

It was a gorgeous day in the neighborhood, opulent sunshine with the perfect amount of wind. I had all the windows open so I could feel the warm breeze coming into my house, an absolute idyllic Spring Cleaning day. I had achieved perfection on the outside of my home, it was time to clean the inside. The front door lay open to let the warm rays in, though the screen door remained closed to keep the bugs out. While diligently dusting the furniture, I heard his little voice say:


....TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK

DON'T FORGET JANUARY IS THYROID DISEASE AWARENESS MONTH, PLEASE FILL OUT THE SURVEY, CLICK ON ONE OF THE THE LINKS IN THE UPPER RIGHT CORNER OF THIS PAGE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVE YA

FROM THE CRAZY THYROID LADY!