DIARY OF A WIMPY MOM-RERUN

MY BRAIN IS WORKING! This is huge!

Thyroid sufferers know what a triumphant event this is. I am not sure why the wheels are turning up in the old organ…hmmm, perhaps it is because I bumped up my exercise routine or maybe it was my Ginkgo Biloba overdose the other day. I was having trouble remembering if I had taken some, I believe I took more than I should…Anyway…whatever it is…I’ll take it!!! Therefore, I am “airing” a blog rerun (from a former blog I used to write-6th Grade Revisited) so I can work diligently on my thyroid book. I am almost done thank God and I don’t know when my brain will go on vacation again so here goes…here is my ble-run or ble-peat:




My son told me I could not be a true 6th grader until I read at least one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. After reading, I have to admit, it is now my new favorite book! My son was shocked; he could not believe I loved it that much. He thought I would not be able to relate. In his mind only kids go through mishaps and adventures. According to him, grown-ups lead boring lives, just pushing paper around at work all day. Recently, I started a new job, therefore, to prove him wrong and to let him know that I also lead an exciting, adventurous life at work, I decided to keep a diary this week… I’ll call it Diary of a Wimpy Mom:

Monday

Last week I sent out an email to everyone in the office informing them that the doors on the wooden cabinet in the break room are very fragile. (Previously I had leaned up against it, in order to get something, and slightly fractured the door). The cabinet was still operational, however, if someone leaned on it again it would not be. Guess what I did this morning even after I warned everyone…






Tuesday

We’ve had a temp helping us out the past few weeks. I think I am the only one who notices that she spends 30 minutes in the bathroom at a time (I clocked it). Hmmmm…I wonder what she is doing in there?







Wednesday

For some reason my husband is obsessed with the Bounce laundry fabric sheets. Seriously! Dude will place 4 or 5 sheets in a single load of laundry. Consequently, I am constantly picking them off my clothes in the morning, and sometimes I miss one… Usually it’s the one that's stuck in a place not easily accessible!








Thursday

On Thursday’s, I have to return the space heater that I borrow from the CFO. Thursday is the only day she is in the office. Needless to say on Thursday's I freeze! Therefore, I have now dubbed Thursday's as “Snuggie Day”. I wear my Snuggie proudly and do not care what people say!






Friday

The holidays are coming up, so I asked my boss if they have "pitch-ins" or "pot-luck" luncheons here at the office. She said “No.” EUREKA…I just found my Shangri-la! I hate pitch-ins! My former jobs always had them, and they stress me out!





CRAZY THYROID LADY

COMING SOON: I will reveal what the CRAZY means in The Crazy Thyroid Lady...stay tuned!

MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL EDITION

Happy Mother’s day! My hats off to any mom who suffers from a thyroid condition or any chronic illness.

In honor of you, I dedicate this blog. However, it's technically not just for the mommies with illnesses…No, this blog is also for those who have the awesome responsibility to make this a special day for you….Therefore, if you happen to print this blog off and strategically place it where it could be found…say…like… taped to one of the television remote controls…it might definitely be a win, win for everyone.

Top five things a mom with a chronic disease would want for Mother’s day –

5. Spa day/Massage-Chronic disease sufferers can have joint pain from head to toe, so this gift would be wonderful as well as therapeutic. Ahhhhh…Oh OK, where was I…

4. Leave mom alone for the day-Give her one day to herself. Let her have the house! If that's not possible, at least give her a room-to read, watch TV, stare at the wall…whatever.

3. Cook her favorite meal and deliver it to her in bed-Allow mom to rest her sore, tired feet. If she doesn’t trust you in her kitchen, then grab an awesome meal to go, from her favorite restaurant and bring it to her. Whichever idea you chose, don’t forget to clean up the mess!

2. Comfort, comfort, comfort-If you have a wife/mother who would rather “open” something when receiving a gift, then for her, I would go comfortable, like soft jammies or slippers. The more comfy the better.

1. Clean something you know she hates to do-Or something that may be difficult on her body, like scrubbing toilets, bathtubs, windows, mopping floors…,etc…

Having a chronic illness and being mom at the same time is very difficult. You are my hero and you deserve all five of those aforementioned gifts, plus much more. But, as a mom, I am sure you would agree that your baby (s) big or small, is truly the best and most rewarding gift of all.

The Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy

THYROID ARMY

Those of you who know me, know I have a vivid imagination, reminiscent of a five-year old… Those little kiddos with their hazy looks, staring off into space are undoubtedly sailing around the world on a pirate ship, or swinging from tree to tree in the jungle like Tarzan.

Hmmmm, I guess the part of the brain that suppresses childlike-imagination when one gets older, never happened to me. As an adult, it is nothing for me to travel off into outer space, battling space alien zombies while sitting at an important board meeting with my grown-up colleagues. Anything can trigger it…then I’m gone...

On this particular occasion, my daydream episode started with a request I received on my facebook page (Thyroid News-Updates from the Crazy Thyroid Lady). The request was to post a link to a website with information about a petition for us thyroidians to electronically sign for better thyroid treatment, and the petition will be sent to the following groups:

International Society of Endocrinology
Society for Endocrinology
American Thyroid Association
American Board of Internal Medicine

While reading the message about the petition during a meeting at work, I had to contain my enthusiasm by pretending I received an important “work related" text message. (You know you read twitter and facebook messages or play games during meetings too, stop judging)

I got all pumped up and promptly told my facebook friend, I would post it on my facebook page, twitter, and blog.

I thought...It is quite sad we must do these types of things to fight to feel better!

Uh oh, the word “FIGHT” was the trigger this time...

I began to imagine me fighting with others in a thyroid army.

An army of us thyroid sufferers were sleeping in our barracks when the sergeant came in for the 5:00 am reveille. The bugling ended abruptly, however, when one of my fellow thyroid soldiers threatened to shove the bugle down the sergeant’s throat if he did not come back at noon. After waking up at the crack of noon, we solders got ready for weapon’s training…only…um we weren’t allowed any real weapons (If you have thyroid disease, you pretty much know why). Instead we were trained on how to use our beady-eyed intimidating stares as weapons.

In the thyroid army, in lieu of tight fitting fatigues, we wear camouflaged moo moos and comfortable slippers. We aren’t required to know Morse code, because thyroid sufferers could possibly forget how to communicate in this way. Lord only knows how those messages would turn out. Oh and booby traps or enemy mines are out of the question, as we would ultimately forget where they were and…well…

Eeeek, this daydream is becoming too scary! So glad we don’t have to fight in an actual war, even though I am sure some of your doctor’s appointments have felt like major combat.

Alternatively, there are other ways to fight for better thyroid care. For more information about the petition.
Please go to:

https://www.change.org/petitions/board-certified-endocrinologists-should-be-proficient-in-and-mandated-to-be-current-on-thyroid-disorders-treatment

Crazy Thyroid Lady

Don't forget to get your copy of my thyroid book Wow Your Mom Really is Crazy